Regionals

Every semester, a chapter in our region will host regionals. All the other Chapters come and share ideas, discuss different rush schedules, events, and then saturday/friday night we all drink ourselves silly. Some moreso than others. I had to be at work at 8am saturday and sunday morning, so i decided to go up saturday night and come back in the morning. Jaime texts me that he is sick and can't go to work, aka hes coming with me. Boss. So i post on facebook that Im headed to Richmond. At this point, Tits leaves a message about how dare I not tell her i was coming. I call her, and she is actually is Va Beach. We meet for dinner, her Jaime and I, and I call Canada and extend the invite on the off chance she'd come. She accepts, and meets us at the Brass Bell. We go from there, epic journey is bound to come from this group.

As soon as i get there, (and it was pretty funny because I really am somewhat of a legend in Richmond) some guy we walk past shouts "Hey, thats that guy! OMG! Thats him!" Canada is like, wtf you weren't kidding you really are like a legend. The entire block is swarming with OT shirts walking around, it was amazing. I go in and everyone says hello and yadda yadda the usual eruption when I walk in the door. I let Canada use someones PC to check blackboard (she typed an essay on my iPhone on the ride up, also boss) and then we headed to Cap Ale to pick up Merry who wants to Marry Me. The night was crazy, some Poland chick was making fun of me for trying to find a mixer for a bottle of vodka i had found for Canada, so i chugged it. And then things just went from there. Epic night. From girls making out to my legs bleeding from unknown altercatiosn (like my leg was dripping blood on three different cuts on my shin. No one could tell me why, and i had no idea i was even bleeding. Wrestling with oFace in the hallway... losing my lenses, abducting Anything, seeing everyone, overall it was a blast.

You should have all been there.

Dem Hoes

"So kiss me hard, because this will be the last time that I let you." ~ The Best Deceptions

So... I have been having the strangest dreams lately. They all involve a girl, and never the one I am semi-dating. Which is horrible I know. I can't control the civility of my subconcious! Sheesh. But they are starting to get interesting. I have been so busy lately that I haven't seen above mentioned girl in 3 weeks, so I guess my mind finds its female interaction on its own. And now you are all jumping to obscene conclusions. No no no not like that. As much as I try to be more of an asshole in real life (girls like that better, btw), I cannot apparently convince my pysche to do the same. It started with a weird dream about my high-school sweetheart. No big deal there, thats been pretty much normal since we broke up 3 years ago. About once a month I wake up thinking we are back together for about 3 seconds until I realize that its 7 am and I have to go to work again. No big deal, I've come to accept it as a part of my life. Where things get strange is when the next night Canada and I had another crazy adventure, in which we went to UVA, flew by private plane to Tech, and then to ODU. She kissed me as she was falling asleep in my lap in the helicopter ride home. Hey, go big or go home. Lol needless to say I woke up in a pretty good mood because the dream was very very detailed and we had a blast. And then I got a kiss.

I wasn't even too terribly disappointed that it wasn't real, because it was such a crazy/amazing dream. tFace was also in that one, it was her dad (an air force officer) who was flying us around lol. The next night was when things got weird. A yound lady (actually shes 2? years older than me) I had dated shortly after HS <3 and I broke up entered my dream. She went to Afghanistan that christmas and I don't think she has yet forgiven me that I started dating someone else while she was gone. (I thought I had made it clear that it would be silly to wait 2 years for her to get back, we had just met) So that dream was kinda disturbing in that we had snuck upstairs during a party (basically a dream recreation of our first kiss) and started kissing, and then my goddamed alarm went off and ruined it. I literally could still feel her lips on mine as I got ready for work, which was disturbing in and of itself.

So I am thinking to myself, what the hell is wrong with you. Last night I only got 4 hours of sleep, so I think the lack of a mistress can be blamed on the lack of actual deep sleep I acquired. What does all that mean? That I am hopeless in love because I am never able to get over the girls I fall for completely? That one of these lucky ladys will sweep me off my feet sometime soon?

Tangent: This past summer was the last time I ever "sweep a girl off of her feet." I think I am pretty successful at it, and I have not yet met a girl who once I determined I was going to sweep, resisted said sweeping. Its alot of fun, and everyone wins. No more. My friend, who we call Mom, was telling me over she was done with a mutual friend she had started dating. I asked for a reason because hes basically cool as hell and she's not exactly perfect, and she said, and I text-quote,
Her:My computer can't find its hard drive again... I have important things on there!!!! geez
Me: Ur pc is crazy.
Her: I know... does it mean I have another trojan virus?? I did drop it alot recently... oops
Me: The dropping. Hdd is loose.
Her: Can u fix it????????? Please.
Me: Yes. (notice i don't say when here)
Her: Amazing! love u lots... oh and I am over Speed Racer*
*not his actual name, nor the name she calls him by
Me: What!!?!?
Her: He doesn't do anything. He doesn't call, text me, facebook, nothing! I am used to being swept off my feet and he just acts like he isn't into me.
Me: Haha the sweeping days are over. We've wised up to you girls.
Her: Bullshit.

Now mind you they went out on Friday night. This conversation was on Monday. Wtf? And me and Jaime (who has a new girl, who cooks, rFace) were talking about how these girls are either too clingy, too desperate, or are completely insane (reference above). rFace made dinner last Friday night and now she is bugging him about "So what ARE we?" questions and iFace (my face) is talking about walking 6 miles to catch the bus so she can spend the night on Thursday night. I mean it would probably be for the best lol. I can only guess it would distract me from all the other (and more amazing) girls in my life that I have let slip by. But I said no. I really don't feel like dealing with a girl that I don't want to spend my life with this week. Maybe next?

Anywho... I am buying a house and Me, Jaime, Dirk Diggler, and... gosh all these nicknames is stretching my creativity. We'll call the 4th Tony. We're all gonna live together next year. I am looking forward to it. Lots of crazy stuff though. I might have to sell my soul to get the mortgage. But its such a great opportunity I can't let is pass. So we will see where this road leads us.

My Car + Ditch

Friday night, I called my little brother to see where he was because he had my car. From the tone of his voice, I knew I wasn't going to enjoy his answer. In a stroke of genius, and on the advice of his roommate, he decided to attempt to rectify the fact that he was blocked in by driving around the house and using the sideyard as a driveway. BTW, its been raining torrential downpours for two days at this point.

<3 Koon #KG 103

Someday a lucky man will capture this girl. Until then, I will be able to enjoy our late night rants on the status of the porn industry and the affect (effect? god dammit!) of the recent economic collapse on it.

There are very few people in this world whom I respect, and like. There are even fewer that are female. (Not that I don't like girls as a general rule, but at this point, I understand why guys do stupid things much more clearly than why girls do stupid things. And I am sure this goes both ways.) But I digress.

Opened another bottle of Raison D'Etre tonight. Much more enjoyable a year later.

Went to a unique little bar the other night and introduced my friends to Maredsous 8. It was fairly well received, making it well worth the $14 it added onto my tab. When everyone ordered a shot, I decided to be different and ordered an Old Chub. Delicious to drink. Not so delicious when chugged from a pint glass. Who needs carbombs when you just chug Old Chub? No one. I insulted some guys girlfriend shortly thereafter in an ill-timed joke. If 1 + 1 = 2, then Chugging Beer + Old Chub = Trouble. He was roughly three times my size and ignorant enough to try to fight me. I am not used to that by the way. Back in Richmond, I knew every bartender that served me, and no matter what happened, I never felt threatened. This was not exactly my crowd (a gay/lesbian bar in a hole in Ghent) so I wasn't exactly sure quite how this would end up as he was telling me something aken to "Let's take this outside." I mean, I would have taken it outside, and probably at that point either let him hit me and then cut his throat, or pulled the knife out first hoping that he would be satisfied in calling me a pussy for having a weapon. Either way, I wasn't going to die. And if I was, so was he. Don't fuck with a short guy. He has been dealing all his life with people bigger than him, and at this point, he pretty much has a plan.

But.... I was able to calm him down, and the girls all getting upset around him brought him back to "maybe he was just making a drunkenly conceived joke and not trying to "insult the love of his life" (his words, not mine). Oh, and I was with two of my Brothers, and they were ready to take on whatever I created. I think I've apologized at least 3 times to Jaime for possibly endangering his life. But let's be honest, deep down, all three of us in some sick depth of our man hearts, strongly hoped that this hulking angry man threatening me would take it further, and that we would have a wonderful story to tell in the morning, if not some wounds to tend to. But it was deep down because we are all responsible people, and that would be such a headache of legalities (in reality, you can't just break a bottle over someones head and say, "everybody was doing it" that is called assault with a deadly weapon, and is usually a felony. then you can't vote, among other things. So all in all, I am glad our inner warriors were kept at bay) and we probably would have missed our poker tournament on Sunday night with all the police reports and what not.


Sunday night, I made the final table in said poker tournament, and we chilled in the hot tub (same trio) until about 4:30 in the morning, just bullshitting. No Homo.

Monday: I woke up hella late and forgot about an appointment I had made to setup a network in-home. The iPhone 3G replacement screen/digitizer had arrived so I also had to repair the boss mans phone (he dropped it and shattered its screen a mere two hours after it was taken out of the box). The repair went fine with a few hiccups but I got it all back together (which I was glad about seeing I know... NOTHING... about repairing cell phones, let alone the most technologically advanced cell phone known to man. I go to turn it on.. FAIL. I cracked the actual LCD in the process of replacing the screen. I ordered a new one, but that is MUCH easier to replace and I should have the phone back in working order shortly after the LCD arrives. At the end of the day, though, I can basically recreate the iPhone 3G in my head. So, if you have a broken one, send a comment and I'll repair the lil bugger for you! I won't charge but the cost of the parts, under the assumption that I am not an expert and make no guarantees but am reasonably confident in my abilities but until I fix yours and possibly your friends successfully, I will not feel right charging for the service.

I am sitting in front of a Double Gulp from 7-11. Did the movie 7 not hit home hard enough? S-I-N. 64 oz. foutain drink is a SIN. c'mon. just install a damned soda gun in your car.

FUPA

I think I am starting to grow a FUPA. This is not bueno. As soon as this week is over, I'm checking out our new $xxxx million gym. It has a rock wall for crying out loud. Besides, how are we gonna seduce young girls with promises of boat rides and Corona if I have a FUPA? We're not. Then who will drink all the Corona? Certainly not Jaime or I. Which brings me to my next point.

Jamie has a boat. We plan on taking it out frequently this summer. Did you know you can get a DUI driving a boat just as easy as if you were driving a car. I just picture this image of Jimmy Buffet sipping from a bottle of Grand Marnier cruising across the water pulling a waterskiing cheeseburger when I think of boating. ... see where stereotypes get you?

Tonight, I almost did something very very very silly. I really want the new iPhone 3.0 beta, because, lets face it, the iPhone is really an embarrassment to itself now that everyone knows such basic features as MMS are only months away when two years ago every free phone had it. iPhone Developers get it free along with the new STK. Its $99/year to become a member of the Dev Team. If the credit card number on my account hadn't expired, I would be sending you all txt pictures from my iPhone right now. Yes yes there are programs out there, but dammit it should be a native feature! I look back to that moment of weakness with a mix of sorrow and regret. Sorrow because I am such an impulse buyer, regret because my plans were thwarted and I am no longer in the mindset where I can justify spending $100 so I can send pix messages 3 months before you can.

I will be learning to repair iPhones shortly, however. Upon learning of the new 3.0 release, I recommended we not sell the last iPhone we got when we upgraded all of our lines and have my boss use it, since the 2G phones won't be able to MMS even with the upgrade. He agreed, I spent a large portion of my day today making the new phone his phone. I finally dropped it off at his house before they left for dinner. He called me from Ruth's Chris to say he dropped it and the screen spider-webbed. FML. I ordered a replacement screen off eBay and the toolkit for the iPhone. Wish me luck... *I have never attempted nor claimed I could fix any cell phone, let alone an iPhone*

The new Facebook is ridiculous. And I got a piece of flair today which kinda pissed me off. "I have a boyfriend he just doesn't know it yet." No, silly girl, you think you have a boyfriend even though he keeps explicity saying you do not. Crazy hoes. That pretty much sums up things with the girl btw.

Canada texted me today out of nowhere. She blew me off last weekend (or honestly forgot about dinner) and we hadn't talked since. I wasn't too upset, just worried because it was very strange and unlike her. But she is alive, and the topic of textversation was the Who is the Coon episode of South Park. Except I is the Coon, and everyone knows that :)

Perpetuities don't make any sense. Basically you are betting for you life, and the payer is betting against your life. Awesome. If we win, you die. If you win, you are too old to enjoy it.

The new HP G Series shares the same AC adapter as our old Dell Latitudes. Could it be that finally they are getting smart enough to a) realize that HP's proprietary AC adapter connector is a piece of shit and b) realize that something like an AC adapter for a laptop has NO REASON to be proprietary? Hopefully this is the case, and "Hey, can I borrow your AC Adapter, my laptop just died" will become commonplace.

Yesterday I took apart my wireless keyboard because when i flipped it upside down, damn near half a dorito fell out. Upon shaking vigorously for 20 minutes, I was unable to get the other half of the dorito out. Turns out that sound was just the keys themselves shaking. I now know the intracacies of the modern keyboard, though. Point, me?

I might surrrender my single status if she agrees to do my laundry and clean my room. Both need desperate attention, and I am ready to sit down at the negotiating table. Sorry, feminism, take two steps back. If that fails, I am going to start going to the laundry mat with a bottle of red wine and try to seduce skilled labor.

T minus 3 hours til my Finance test. Onwards!

My little Brother

So, he was living with his stripper friend in Richmond. I told him he should come to Va Beach with me, he told me to fuck off with the charisma that only an 18yr old stoner with nothing to look forward to than his next dimebag can muster. This may have stemmed from the fact that i intervened and ruined a nice score he had setup over the summer.

I had started dating one of the hosts at the restaurant we both worked at. I might add she was beautiful, and amazing. But alas... I digress. I'm pretty sure I mentioned her in an earlier post. She was the one I would have to get a high paying job for. Soo... I was semi-courting her and was trying to get her to go to warped tour with me and my brofriend, Comitz. She had to work, I convinced my brother to cover her shift for her. Which would mean that he couldn't go to Warped Tour. Even though he wasn't working because he had requested off to go to warped tour. I begged pleaded and pulled incredible stunts at work to get it approved, because Mikey was on the shitlist as the time. So... after some political maneuvering on both our parts (as I found out later) both 11/10 and I ended up with the day off. (I was also scheduled to work. Like I said, much maneuvering.) At the time, 11/10 had JUST broken up with her boyfriend of like two years, some kid from Longwood I think. Whatever school it was, I sure he was a loser. He was also a drug dealer, which was an issue in the relationship from what I understand. Apparently one of the benefits to dating a drug dealer is that you always have good weed. On the way down to Va Beach, we start talking about the incredible stunt we pulled and she mentions she had to bribe my brother with a bag of weed (some really good stuff, apparently) that her now ex bf had given her. I said you should not do that, if you dont mind. She obliged me, he got the short end of the stick. So he was holding a pretty good-sized grudge, understandably.

Stripper and Lil Red (my bro) moved in with another stripper, the same stripper who attacked me in my kitchen one night. I still haven't got tested from that. Note to self. I think the worst thing that can happen from kissing a stripper is... degradation of pride and morality? I hope so. Anyways, they got evicted around christmas time. Next thing I know, Mikey is living on our old street in the 'Gona, down the street from my High School. I know that he needs to get back in school and won't do it himself. I also know I need to keep an eye on him. Thus begins my journey into parenting.

I basically skipped my first week of classes getting all his financial aid, textbooks, course schedule, and employment straightened out. This also required me to forgo paying the majority of my own tuition, place a large sum on my business card as an expense, and max out my personal credit cards. ODU tuition is billable, community college is "don't pay before midnight, we drop you from your classes." which did happen, i had to finagle to get him back into the same classes the next day. I put him to work with my boss in the warehouse. It was unsteady hours at first and there were some issues as to paychecks and hours, and all that. He basically was late on his rent ($75/week) every week for the first 3 weeks and I was supporting him on all other counts. His computer died, so i snagged a laptop off eBay that he could run Adobe Master Suite on so I could put him to work doing design and web stuff for me. Basically it was all a huge investment because once his financial aid starts coming in I will be square again. This is btw the second time I have done this. Over the summer he dropped his classes and the fin aid never came, and I was out $1200. But hey, I figured I'd either give my brother a second shot at college, and risk upwards of $4,000 (and growing) or watch him continue a downward spiral.

He is currently failing two courses, possibly three. All he has to pass is 67% of his credits and at least 12 / semester. I'm crossing my fingers. I don't have the capital to give him the third shot, even if I wanted to. I will be talking to his teachers this week about salvaging his grades for the semester. My first parent-teacher conference, if you will. Wish me luck. So yea, thats where I'm at. I haven't been the least bit active in the OT chapter here, as I am now working from the warehouse to work with him (I had to concede that to get him set minimum hours/week.) He decided to move out of his friends house and we found him an apartment near ODU campus for $400/month. I had to pay his first months rent, and hes struggling this month to get the 2nd month and the security desposit, but I think he will be successful. After that, his bills are only $400 (I pay his cell as its on the business account) a month and his income will be around $700 so he should have money to spend. Which means I won't be feeding two people anymore.

My classes aren't going to great, although I have an A in programming. I had to drop my accounting course and probably should drop my management course. It is what it is. If he pulls through this semester, next semester he won't have to work, and I won't have half the stress because all the paperwork is already filled out. If I start getting Empty Nest complexes, you will be the first to hear about it :)

I don't think I am having children. If I do, I am sending them off to boarding school at 14. A military boarding school. Its 5:34 am and I still have to do my Finance hw (its already late) and I have a program due at 7 PM. HW is due at 7 AM. Oh and someone found my blog! One of the brothers from Leadership Academy facebooked me about it! What are the odds that of all the blogs they would randomly stumble across it? Small. Very very small. I'll let you know after I take Stat 342 next semester.

Catching Up

So I promised I would update you guys, so I guess I should do that. I'll start from the beginning.

New House:

I moved in to the new place. Two things kind of bugged me when I got here.
1. I was told I was getting the room in the attic originally which is really why I agreed to live there because it is huge and unique and its got a tiny stairwell leading up to it. I envisioned a VIP when we have a party for all the hot ODU girls to congregate in. Yes call me what you will. Let a boy dream. And I was told the rent would be cheaper because I had the attic room. And you cant get any preassembled furniture up there because of mentioned stairwell.

I get there and one of the guys had decided he wanted the attic room, so now Im in his tiny room, and Im paying $400/month + utilities. so $500/month. I get my own apartment for a little more, but whatever. So that was kinda sheisty but I am the new guy I kind of understand. I also don't have alot of stuff so that room works just fine. But I had plans. Expansion plans...

I got a sweet new desk that basically awesome. It's L shaped and wood glass and polished steel, and it looks really good with my 3 monitor setup lol. Its also plenty of s pace for work and school.

So, house is newly renovated, nothing like the dump i moved out of. Huge upgrade. We threw a party the first weekend before classes and I showed these kids how its done. This school is certainly not ready for me. They need a lot of work. The kitchen has a breakfast bar setup thingy too which works really well for bartending at parties and provides a LOT more room than the old bar in the basement. Im all moved in and I get along with all my roommates, although they act like little girls amongst themselves...

I mentioned one day that its strange that of four people, no one had any plates or silverware or pots and pans. Jeremy (the coolest of the group) informs me that we used to have all of the aforementioned. The way he said it was like he was reminiscing of better times.

Apparently, there was a great and terrible war. No one was washing them, or something it all sounded like a bunch of bitching. The house has a brand new dishwasher, its not rocket science. So all silverware and whatnot disappeared. Among other things, there was just a lot of bitching. It's getting better now, I put my foot down.

I was just getting settled in to my new place, classes were starting, and my little brother informs me hes been evicted from his place in Richmond and hes moving down to Va Beach. And now I have a son. I'll update more later.

Catch-Upp

So.... so much you all have missed.

Its been almost two whole months since my last post.

I moved into my new house.

I am in a new school.

I am raising a son.

I am completely bankrupt (see above).

I dont sleep nearly enough.

I am now semi-dating girl from previous posts.

More details to come, Finance test in 5 hours, must study.

Chistmas and Other things

First off, I would like to say to anyone (emphasis on 1) reading this to checkout this blog, featuring her adorable daughter.



Next, pictures from my past week.

This dramatic series is me listening to music while my webcam silently snaps a picture every second til i saw the blue light and turned it off. Thats right, I am posting pictures that could be potential blackmail. I just thought they were way too funny (and embarassing) to not be posted.

These are from Xmas in NC with family.

My Cousin London. Shes a pisser (look at the hair). Hilarious though, and really smart.

Ginger kids have no soul.

That will be trouble in 2 years. They are already mischevious and can't even walk

My Stepbrother and Sister (from the NY trip) beating each other up on XMas Eve.

*She was drunk, in her defense, and picked a fight with him*

My Precious!!! Boss's daughter.

I Should Be Writing This From Jail

... oy vey, but an interesting weekend. So Saturday night was the setup. Sunday night after work, I drove down to Va Beach and met up with two of my friends from high school because everyone is off on winter break. Having just finished our exams (which I bent over, and didn't call the next day) we were ready for some stress relief. We had a couple of drinks at the bar, but I took it easy because I had to drive everyone. Well we drop Jesus off, and then Johnny-Boy and I head to Wendys for food, and then 7-11 for ice. We had decided to continue our evening at the warehouse, with a bottle of bourbon I had in my trunk. All right, that is somewhat of a lie. Johnny-boys 'rents were giving him hell back home so he didn't want to go home. I needed to get to sleep, but I obliged. We ran into an old friend (and Jesus' ex) who is now working at said 7-11. Neither of us were surpised, I might add. We hung out, I took him home around 3:30, and got back up at 8 for work.

Yesterday I worked from 8 am to midnight with a short break to eat. We are trying to introduce some new products to the DoD, and they have to be submitted and approved. Some guy was breaking our balls about a price increase we had submitted along with the new products, so I spent the better part of the day finding comparable products, breaking down their prices into unit cost, and comparing to ours. Guy wanted at least a 100 products compared. So I said fuck you, merry christmas, I hope you get stuck verifying this on christmas eve, and I did our entire product line. I finished at midnight, but it turned out very well. It also needed to be done a long time ago for sales purposes.

Jesus and Johnny are basically waiting on me to finish so we can go out because they can't drive. We get to our usual watering hole, and each order a pitcher. Johnny ordered me a second pitcher, which was probably the worst idea we've ever had collectively, seeing as how I was the driver. I finished said pitchers in the hour between us getting there and last call. I didn't feel too bad off, so I dropped Jesus and Johnny off, and felt like I was able to drive back to the warehouse to finally get some sleep. I pulled out of Johnny's neighborhood and realized there was no way in hell I could possibly make this drive. It hit me fast, and I should have seen it coming. I drove across the street because I had to piss like to other, and needed to figure out what exactly I was going to do with myself in this condition. I got out, pissed, got back in, and somewhere in there I lost my glasses. I am blind. 20/400 blind. Now I am fucked.

Apparently, a cop saw me take the restroom break in the bushes, and drove over to investigate. I drove past him further into the parking lot (which is probably why I am writing this) and thankfully not into the street. He pulled me over for suspicion of public urination, and also because I was driving erratically at 10 miles / hour because I couldn't see a damned thing. I couldn't even figure out where I was in the parking lot relative to the road because I am so blind. You are probably thinking, OMG you could have killed somebody, but I only made it about 20 feet before he pulled me and I was already about to stop and just say f it, here is where I stay.

A DUI typically will cost you anywhere between 7 and 10,000$ before its all said and done with, according to last years statistics. I thought I was about to be $10K poorer in 15 minutes. The officer asked me if I had been drinking, and being brutally honest when intoxicated, I told him that yes, I had had entirely too much to be driving in fact. He ran my plates and license, and I think because my record is perfect, he offered to let me call someone to come pick me up. Unfortunately, I would have already done this if my phone weren't dead. He offered to make a call for me, but of course, I can't remember anyones phone number. Next he asked me if I had a place to stay nearby, and I said yes. Johnny only lived across the street in the next neighborhood. Mind you, I am trying to give this officer directions when I can't see anything outside, so he thinks I am also retarded. I get there, and his parents wake up in the process. They spoke to the officer, and I ended up not getting even a warning or citation. I went to sleep probably the most embarassed I have ever been in my life, though. Having to have your best friends dad talk to a cop for you at 21 is degrading, just a little. I am very fortunate, though, and will not be partaking in such adventures in the near future. Lesson learned. And I had to be back at work in the morning... And I worked today until 9 PM, though at a much more leisurely pace. .... So my boss for this company lives 2 doors down from Johnny, he actually introduced us. I was at his house setting up his wifes new iPhone and G3 (thats his new name, btw) comes in "I've got a story for you Elffie (his wifes new name, btw)!" "I just talked to Johhny's mom, and she told me a crazy story about why our IT guy was late this morning!".... wonderfuckingful.

But I owe that officer a great deal, and am thankful a million times over. I must have a guardian angel or something. No one gets out of a DUI in Virginia Beach.

Except this guy. Im driving home to Richmond for what will hopefully be the last time for business. I move in next Monday. O and G, the girl from the weekend, has been texting/calling me yesterday and today. We have a date on Tuesday. Yahtzee. Except I cleared my text log last night apparently and have no record of what I actually said to her, so thats always a little nerveracking. I just know we have a date on Tuesday, lol.

The Setup

So in my recent bout of Singleness, my buddy and his girlfriend have been teasing me with the idea of bringing one of her friends up her to play with. That sounds horrible I know, but that is exactly how they presented it. I won't turn something like that down, but I am definitly not the kind of guy to 'close a deal' overnight. Not wanting to ruin their fun, I continue to let them play with this idea, and eventually convinced myself it was indeed a wonderful plan.

So 17 (his g/f, and no she's not 17) texts me to make sure I'm free this weekend because her friend is coming up. Not only is her friend coming up, but shes coming up to get away from her d-bag of a boyfriend, apparently. So I asked some questions about this girl to see how much this experiment could fail. Turns out, its alot. I basically have no set type, although I have three qualifications: Attractive, Intelligent, and Emotionally Stable.
These are the answers to the questions I asked, more or less:

Is she attractive: 17: Shes not ugly at all. CT: I'd put a coupla holes in her, probably.
Conclusion.... alcohol will be necessary.

Is she intelligent: 17: Shes not dumb, no. CT: She's no engineer.... well I wouldn't say she really has book smarts.
Conclusion: Great, shes fucking retarded.

Is she a mess? 17: No, she's one of my better friends. CT: Looking at 17 quizically, "didn't you guys talk about drugs in the car last week?"
Conclusion: Awesome! Shoot me now.

So my overall impression is that if I get really drunk, I will be able to tolerate conversation with this girl in small doses, and sexual attraction might be a side-effect. Either way, the bar tab I will sustain in this endeavour will not justify whatever good could possibly come from this.

So I finish work and head over to 17's flat, expecting a miserable evening. I was only half right.

So I walk in and theres this cute girl in a hoodie, and I am introduced. We will call her G. G is for gangster. I'll explain later. So, G is neither unattractive nor does she give off the bimbo impression. Mind you, I was not expecting anything to write home about, so I haven't shaved, and am generally unprepared for the evening. Now I am embarassed, and shy. Wonderful way to meet somebody. Her first of impression of me was this: Boy looks at me casually, mouth drops slightly, says hello as he turns away... what is his deal? Actual thoughts of boy: o this must be her - o god. - turn away to talk to CT before you blush. Avoid Eye Contact. Go go go!

We talk a little, but I have basically had the stool pulled out from underneath me on this one. I thought it would be an easy charity case, not an actual viable female lol. Mentally regrouping... so we go to the club, which by the way is the worst place possible to get to know somebody if you are clumsy white boy such as maself.

My ex girlfriend was a dance minor, and was actually on VCU's dance team. So you would think I would have learned something. Not so much.. it really just emphasized that I have no place on a dance floor. So as luck might have it, this particular girl is also taking dance classes - hip hop classes. Wonderful. So that was embarassing. Liquid courage to the rescue. Didn't help. I dont think I could ever afford to get drunk enough to think I can dance at a club. It would have to be premeditated. But dear lord... club outfits... my god. So I mentioned earlier that she was cute, but wearing a hoodie and all. Well, I was setup on every count. Turns out, this girl is gorgeous. Long, beautiful hair, very cute face. Something about her eyes, too. They aren't like big doey seduce-me-please eyes, but something about them hinted at a deeper understanding. So on first impression, I can tick off Attractive and Intelligent (the eyes give it away). When we got back we stayed up til 4:30 talking, but I don't think she is interested. We shall see how this goes. The good news is that she lives relatively close to where I am moving next week. Her phone had died that night, so I felt foolish asking for her number, but I did leave her with mine. Not too hopeful, but we shall see.

Moral of the story, plan for the worst, hope for the best. And yes, worst case scenario was what happened. A blind date but not actually a date with an attractive girl whom you are totally unprepared for is worst-case.

Pictures

The Incredible Hulk

What a disaster of a movie. Edward Norton and Liv Tyler (gorgeous... mmm) put on great performances, but every other actor in that movie screws up except for the old Italian Restaurant Owner. Everyone else... just sucked. Haha not exactly a deep analysis, but what do you expect with lines like "Reload. Reload. Reload." ... "We're building a team." "Who?"

And to think I used to enjoy such things....

So yes, that is how I spent my Friday night. Some girl from some college who is a friend of a friend's girlfriend who is.... no wait thats the end. Anyways she is down for the weekend and I was supposed to hang out with said friend, friend's g/f, and friend's g/f's friend tonight, but something came up and here I am watching the Incredible Hulk. It could be worse though... Canada is supposed to be here but her mom doesn't trust her to drive.

Which brings me to the subject of this post: How much should a parent push their children to succeed, and how much should a parent protect the only thing in this world that is truly a piece of them?

I just erased about two pages.... i went off on some wild tangent about defining the elite of America. It was too jumbled to form an intelligent thought, and I will tackle that regurgitation of the mind at a later date.

Basically I am faced with this dilemma, when (or if) I do breed, and create little Me-and-my-Plus-1's , how do I present the world to them?

I would like nothing more than to create a legacy for my family. I was reading an article about Kennedy wanting Hilary's Senate seat, and it made a valid point. America has created its own dynasties. I feel like I need to take what my parents provided, and rise above that. I would have the same expectation of my son or daughter, because I would have worked very hard to give them a better opportunity than I was provided, because I am able to. I can't imagine there being anything more satisfying in life than to see your own children become someone greater than you yourself. It also stresses the importance of finding (and waiting for) the right person. You only get one shot at childrearing, theres no takebacks or erasies (legally).

So I dedicate my life to providing for my children, to being a role model to them, in the hopes of instilling in them the same drive and... will that my own father instilled in me, both through his actions and his chromosomes. I dedicate my life to developing their mental abilities and enriching their thoughts, as my mother did. They leave my care with all the tools and knowledge I could give (hopefully its more then than I currently possess). Now things get interesting.

I have two cousins whom I consider the closest thing living related to me by blood to be a success of the system, if you will. My Aunt had much the same dreams as I do. She worked a 2nd job to put both her daughters through college. Both have degrees from prestigious universities, both graduated from the International Baccalaureate program in High School. One just finished her internship at a beauty salon doing hair, and the other is finishing her masters in International Politics.

How would I feel if my child chose the salon route? I couldn't help but be disappointed. At the same time, I could encourage my child and hope that they turn it into something more. Said cousin could easily run a chain of salons, and is fluent in 3 languages. I hope that she quickly climbs in her career. But what if she doesn't? What is she is complacent coloring hair and perming old women? Can you really look down on someone who does what they love?

Simply, the answer is no. At the end of the day, the only thing you can be disappointed in is if you give your child everything they need to succeed, and they still end up stuck doing something which adds misery to their lives. The path to success is long and varied, just look at me :) If they are able to live a fulfilling life, what more can you have possibly provided?

If I had someone there watching every step for me, I would be a much different person. For better or for worse, I would be different. So I guess the only thing we can reasonably do is arm them with a quality mind, train them to apply it, and cross your fingers and toes as you say goodbye. Watching a child grow up as an adult is merely an extension of sending them on their very first schoolbus ride. And then you have to be there when they inevitably punch the girl who called them a name, skip class to go to the beach, sleep through that final exam, or take those 21 shots.

That is one thing I can say my stepmom has always done, thankfully. While I sometimes wished she pushed me harder, or was more protective, I can never say she has turned away at my missteps.

REBEL!! REBEL! Down with the Rents!!!... I can hear my little brother shouting.

The image of a grumbling Canada sitting at home because her mom is worried is still kinda cute, though. ;)



Haha and was that heavily edited. Man feareth 3 things: death, taxes, and the blue +

Family

My little brother just stopped by, and I hadn't seen him since he moved out last week. He had left all of his toiletries, which is why he came back, and hadn't shaved / brushed his teeth since then. It really hurts me to see him like that. He could (and we all could, I know) be so much more than he wants. I have to let him develop his own person though, however/wherever that takes him. I gave him everything he needed to succeed when he dropped out last Spring and moved in with me.

He made the decision to not take advantage of the break I cut him. I know that you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink and all that, but it doesn't change the fact that he is still my little brother and I want to see him succeed.

I asked him if I might need him to deliver something for me about an hour away tomorrow did he have any plans and he said give me $10 so I can get a new license, and its a deal. I feel like a mafioso or something.... so I gave him the $10 so he can go get it now. He is as I type this walking to the nearest DMV. I wanted badly to let him take my car, you know I'm sitting here at work not using it today. But I didn't, because for one I told him he would never drive it again so help me after the cigarette burns I found, and two if I keep letting him piggyback off of the things I have, he'll never have/want anything of his own.

We must all want to succeed, if forced upon us it is only temporary. I wish him luck in this life.

Across the Universe

Turn off your speakers, or hit the pause button... otherwise enjoy the new playlist.

Bourbon, and Cigars

Every Tuesday has become a sort of ritual at my house. A good friend of mine recently returned from Iraq, albeit slightly damaged. He was never sane to begin with, but it certainly didn't help. He is starting to sleep more now, which is good. I was a little worried when he first got back. The best part about... oh a good name for him would be CT, about CT is that he appreciates many the things I do. It was he who introduced me to good bourbon when I was a younger lad. Twas he who forced me to consume my first Carbomb the night before a chemistry test, as well. I owe him many thanks. CT was actually my PI way back when I was pledging. He got his orders shortly after I was initiated. We have been making up for lost time, though.

Back to Tuesday nights, CT and I have begun taking turns bringing a bottle of whiskey and he usually brings the cigars. Tonight though, was a special affair. With me leaving in a couple of weeks and break coming, I figured I'd splurge this time. I also needed to give him a reason to leave his g/f for a night lol. Jefferson's Reserve was the trick. I had never heard of Jefferson's Reserve until Bluegrass Brewing Company made a delicious concoction in its honor. The BBC Jefferson's Reserve Imperial Bourbon Barrel Stout is one of the best beers I have ever tasted. It is aged in the same casks as it's namesake bourbon for 6 months, picking up a strong hint of bourbon, and the smoothness oak barrels bring. It will also knock your socks off at 10.6% and not a lick of alcohol in its taste. Definitely not a session beer for you English types. So, I wanted to meet the maker, if you will.

I was not disappointed by any means, either. There is something about sitting on your porch, sipping on a small batch bourbon that simply can't be beat by the party scene. There is no sense of urgency, there is no need to "pregame" or "beat happy hour." I drank one of the best bourbons I have ever had, and I still have the better part of a bottle, and spent less than a nights bar tab. And you don't wake up feeling like a train hit you, and you don't go to sleep feeling like your missing out on the party that's still going on.

We sit on the porch, smoke a cigar (I can handle cigars, barely) and enjoy the evening. Also fun is making fun of the drunk kids walking back from parties or the lame kids wandering aimlessly trying to 'find the party.' Either way, we were once just like them and it is amusing. The best is the dumb girls though... aye. Girls: "Are you guys Frat Boys!?!?!?!?" .some would call us that, yes. "OOoOOoOoHhHh Which Ooone?" .Theta Tau. "Theta Tau.... is that like Theta Chi?" .not quite... we're a professional, engineering fraternity. "No... its an Engineering... Oh. So do guys like party?" .do you drink whiskey?. "Eewww gross. I know a guy in Theta Chi!" ... They're mostly harmless, and there's always one girl whose eyes light up when we say engineering. There are two reasons for this: 1. Her mother is smart and told her to find an engineering boy to marry. 2. She would enjoy a talking to us about such things, but can't admit it because her friends would be lost in seconds.
I used to not believe the second one, until one girl said she did First! Robotics in high school. Our organization ran the First! tournament for several years so most of the participants know at least one Brother, if they are not aware of the organization itself. AfroNinja, my roommate and Big Brother, was really big in First! in high school and still mentored its team when he had time, so they started talking about robot stuff. The other two girls just kinda rolled their eyes and looked silly until they got bored and dragged her away... But we were not on the porch to hit on young girls, so when they do stop by its more of a spectacle than anything else.

It is nights like last night that I will miss the most leaving Richmond. They were much more prevalent in years past, but I still cherish them. Like the night Billy and Old Man and I sat on the porch talking about the future til 6 am. They had assigned a cop to watch us or something because we got a 'roll by' 18 times in 4 hours. Or running from the dirt-bike mounted Police on Bell Isle (an island which had both exits blocked by more police) for 3 hours one night. Thank the lord for the 4 am shift change. So many of my best memories here were with OT.
Nothing Golden Lasts Forever.

Really GMail.. really?

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I don't even know what to say about this.

Come together. Right now. Over me.

So the other night I watched Across the Universe. Amazing movie. All aspects of it were amazing. And the Beatles are amazing as well, of course. So today was a good day.

During last week's financial aid snafus, 2 Final Exams, and work, I fell really far behind with my biggest client. I thought that I was going to loose the account any day, and the owner sent me a message basically asking for references of who else could do the work that I do because I obviously couldn't handle it anymore.

I basically responded that I agreed, I was stretched too thin, and that I could find someone to maintain the website but for all the stuff I do for them, they would need to hire a part-time IT Admin or something along those lines. Which is true. Today, we had a meeting of sorts, and I gave a presentation of my plans to overhaul the companies communications structure over the winter break and integrating everyone into google apps. There is only 4 people, but its a huge mess and they are trying to grow and things are slipping through the various email addresses, voicemailboxes, etc. Needless to say he was very impressed and tonight I am catching up on the work I fell behind on after spending all day getting that comm thing together. Whew... I was kinda nervous there for a minute.

I really dont have time, I am basically devoting my only day off to this company, but I was looking at the cost of a Z4 lol and realized that 7 days is what I need to be working if I'm ever going to have a good enough job to play with one. I say play because a car like that is just a toy lol. That and I calculated out how much I will probably make off of the account, not to mention the experience I gain because everything they face is common to most if not all small businesses. Most of what I know I have learned working with them since I was like 17. The first time I ever setup a wireless network was theirs. Oh how far I have come.

Back to work... I am the Walrus. Koo Koo Cajoo.

My Driving Test

Reading about Jaime's test has inspired me lol. Ya'll should enjoy this one.

Now let me set the scene. I was (and still am) one of the cockiest geeks you'll ever meet in highschool. I was captain of the JV Soccer team, and was now on the Varsity squad, and had a cool non-16-year-old job for a computer company as a technician and salesman, and all the cute little girls in the Health Science Academy had a crush on either me or my friend, Johnny-boy. (Yes from thanksgiving) We were both on the soccer team, both in all AP courses and both cocky lil things. O and we had our high school administration wrapped around our fingers. So I guess we had reason to be cocky, but not that cocky. Cocky starts sounding funny after you say it 15 times, fyi.

So... here in VA we have Behind-the-Wheel. Its through the school and during lunch. I was in the car with 2 other girls, Ashlei Wo-Skeet-Skeet and some random ghetto girl. It was Bayside... if you went there, you understand what I'm talking about. Actually WoSkeetSkeet ended up marrying my boss from Sonic and I was to be among the Groomsmen at the wedding. Small world..

So, its not that hard, its just driving, and the instructor is nice enough. Except everything she made the girls do, she found a way to make it harder for me. We would each take turns driving for 15 minutes at a time. She had WoSkeetSkeet drive down into some neighborhood that was had really windy roads on the beach. It was very hilly and had pine trees EVERYWHERE. she instructs her to turn down this onelane road and drives like a 1/4 mile down it. Dead end. I'm thinking, O SHIT! finally a girl has to do somehting hard. Like a 4 point 180. Right? Right?

Not so much. She tells Ashliei to get out, and that I am up. So I am like.... turn around, big deal, i get lost all the time. Nothing new.

"Backup, and don't hit any mailboxes or you fail."

*Mouth is now hanging on floor*

But I did it. And all was well. Except... on the way back.

So she had Ghetto drive down Shore Drive to get us home. Mistake.

Ghetto can't drive. At All. She veeers off the road, onto the rumblestrips going 60 on the most deadly road in Va Beach. The Instructor tries to pull the wheel, but to no avail. We are careening off the road and Ghetto is shrieking and digging her 4" nails into the wheel, and her arms are locked tense. Instructor finally overcomes the power of ignorance and pulls wheel towards road. O M G. I almost became another cross on the side of Shore Dr.

Then the next week I am in the middle of a week with 2 soccer games, I am working the days we dont have games after practice. and to top it all off, its like the end of the 3rd quarter. Oh and I had just started a new allergy medicine, which apparently makes me drowsy.

Needless to say I fell asleep behind the wheel and hit a trashcan lol. Yea... muy mal. It was a plastic trashcan, and I was already stopping because I couldn't keep my eyes open, but yea. She was not happy.

Next week, our driving test.
Summary: WoSkeetSkeet passes with flying colors.
Ghetto passed, but barely and i quote from the instrutor, "You didn't mess up enough to fail, but for your safety and your insurance companies, don't PARK NEAR CARS."

Me... Light at Va Beach Blvd and Witchduck turned yellow on me. I gunned it... i thought I made it... She disagreed. I failed.

Shame. Embarassment.... hiding under the floor tiles.

Next week I did fine but I to this day have a fear of yellow lights. I have stopped in the middle of intersections because the light turned yellow... its like a phobia thing.

And that kids, is my story of Behind the Wheel. According to my mom, who might be a bit racist: Black women are statistically the worst category of drivers by race and sex.

Dunno how true it is.. but omg i can believe it.

Eh... history.

Financial Aid. Pain in my ass. Apparently ODU doesn't accept my step mom as my mother on my FAFSA and rejected my claim unless I do one of two things: get my biological mother's tax info, or appeal for independence. Easier said than done. I had to prove that I hadn't had any contact with her. Which is hard to do when I don't really have contact with anyone tha actually knows her. So... some weeks later I have everything I need for this appeal except the court papers. I had my mom fedex my dads death certificate, because apparently they wanted to verify my story... bullshit in my opinion. Here I am dragging all these things up for what ended up being only 3 grand. Not worth it IMO. So Monday morning I spent the entire day in the various courts of Va. Beach. BTW, I now remember why I cut off contact with my maternal family. Bunch of screwups. Every courts waiting lobby is just filled with the screwups and wastes of space we call the lower class. Coming from this class, I can say that lol. I spent many a day as a child waiting in line at the Social Security office. F that S. So I started with Juvenile and Domestic relations. There I get the change of custody papers giving my stepmom custody with my father... not quite what I was looking for to prove I hadn't seen my mother since 2000. Chica at the window tells me that that is the most recent thing in the file. I tell her to just give me the entire thing, I'll figure it out. College advisors and court clerks... can't trust em for anything. So there it is, WHAM! A single sheet of paper with 4 lines of actual non-header bs text.

"Debrah Jean Patterson is hereby denied visitation."
"Admitted to the court use of cocaine and marijuana."
"In regards to yadda yadda 3 kids."

No one has ever been that excited to find such a report lol. I was really nervous I was wasting my time because nothing had officially gotten to a judge. That was basically all I needed but it was from 2000 and alot can happen in 8 years, and ODU was being particularly assinine in my case.

Onward to civil court...
Divorce papers... 9 pages worth. Nothing really interesting there. Which dissappointed me. I was hoping for a good read about why they actually got divorced... alas.

Criminal court...
This one was kind of a stab in the dark because I had heard mention of my mom getting in legal trouble after I cut off contact. Well I hit gold again. The clerk told me there were 15 counts and it was $2 each count to get a copy... but that it was all available online. So I went home and found 8 of the counts, the rest went to a higher court and would require considerable searching. The eight were all i needed though. Eight guilty pleas to felonies ranging from check fraud to money laundering. I was like goddam.... and those genes are in me... :(

So Tuesday morning, I wake up to an email saying my request for financial aid had been denied because I waited too long. I called that office in a second. They were like sorry, better luck next time. I told her to put some paper in her fax machine. I sent over a 30 page packet I dont think they were ready for. She called me back in an hour and was like, your appeal has been approved. Financial aid hit my account today.

Point, me.

But the trip realy enforced who I do and do not want to be in this life, and how easy it is to fall into that self-pitying cycle of destitution and food stamps. And ignorance... the things I heard in that courtroom. Defense lawyers are scum, as a general rule fyi. Enjoy Ally.