Chistmas and Other things

First off, I would like to say to anyone (emphasis on 1) reading this to checkout this blog, featuring her adorable daughter.



Next, pictures from my past week.

This dramatic series is me listening to music while my webcam silently snaps a picture every second til i saw the blue light and turned it off. Thats right, I am posting pictures that could be potential blackmail. I just thought they were way too funny (and embarassing) to not be posted.

These are from Xmas in NC with family.

My Cousin London. Shes a pisser (look at the hair). Hilarious though, and really smart.

Ginger kids have no soul.

That will be trouble in 2 years. They are already mischevious and can't even walk

My Stepbrother and Sister (from the NY trip) beating each other up on XMas Eve.

*She was drunk, in her defense, and picked a fight with him*

My Precious!!! Boss's daughter.

I Should Be Writing This From Jail

... oy vey, but an interesting weekend. So Saturday night was the setup. Sunday night after work, I drove down to Va Beach and met up with two of my friends from high school because everyone is off on winter break. Having just finished our exams (which I bent over, and didn't call the next day) we were ready for some stress relief. We had a couple of drinks at the bar, but I took it easy because I had to drive everyone. Well we drop Jesus off, and then Johnny-Boy and I head to Wendys for food, and then 7-11 for ice. We had decided to continue our evening at the warehouse, with a bottle of bourbon I had in my trunk. All right, that is somewhat of a lie. Johnny-boys 'rents were giving him hell back home so he didn't want to go home. I needed to get to sleep, but I obliged. We ran into an old friend (and Jesus' ex) who is now working at said 7-11. Neither of us were surpised, I might add. We hung out, I took him home around 3:30, and got back up at 8 for work.

Yesterday I worked from 8 am to midnight with a short break to eat. We are trying to introduce some new products to the DoD, and they have to be submitted and approved. Some guy was breaking our balls about a price increase we had submitted along with the new products, so I spent the better part of the day finding comparable products, breaking down their prices into unit cost, and comparing to ours. Guy wanted at least a 100 products compared. So I said fuck you, merry christmas, I hope you get stuck verifying this on christmas eve, and I did our entire product line. I finished at midnight, but it turned out very well. It also needed to be done a long time ago for sales purposes.

Jesus and Johnny are basically waiting on me to finish so we can go out because they can't drive. We get to our usual watering hole, and each order a pitcher. Johnny ordered me a second pitcher, which was probably the worst idea we've ever had collectively, seeing as how I was the driver. I finished said pitchers in the hour between us getting there and last call. I didn't feel too bad off, so I dropped Jesus and Johnny off, and felt like I was able to drive back to the warehouse to finally get some sleep. I pulled out of Johnny's neighborhood and realized there was no way in hell I could possibly make this drive. It hit me fast, and I should have seen it coming. I drove across the street because I had to piss like to other, and needed to figure out what exactly I was going to do with myself in this condition. I got out, pissed, got back in, and somewhere in there I lost my glasses. I am blind. 20/400 blind. Now I am fucked.

Apparently, a cop saw me take the restroom break in the bushes, and drove over to investigate. I drove past him further into the parking lot (which is probably why I am writing this) and thankfully not into the street. He pulled me over for suspicion of public urination, and also because I was driving erratically at 10 miles / hour because I couldn't see a damned thing. I couldn't even figure out where I was in the parking lot relative to the road because I am so blind. You are probably thinking, OMG you could have killed somebody, but I only made it about 20 feet before he pulled me and I was already about to stop and just say f it, here is where I stay.

A DUI typically will cost you anywhere between 7 and 10,000$ before its all said and done with, according to last years statistics. I thought I was about to be $10K poorer in 15 minutes. The officer asked me if I had been drinking, and being brutally honest when intoxicated, I told him that yes, I had had entirely too much to be driving in fact. He ran my plates and license, and I think because my record is perfect, he offered to let me call someone to come pick me up. Unfortunately, I would have already done this if my phone weren't dead. He offered to make a call for me, but of course, I can't remember anyones phone number. Next he asked me if I had a place to stay nearby, and I said yes. Johnny only lived across the street in the next neighborhood. Mind you, I am trying to give this officer directions when I can't see anything outside, so he thinks I am also retarded. I get there, and his parents wake up in the process. They spoke to the officer, and I ended up not getting even a warning or citation. I went to sleep probably the most embarassed I have ever been in my life, though. Having to have your best friends dad talk to a cop for you at 21 is degrading, just a little. I am very fortunate, though, and will not be partaking in such adventures in the near future. Lesson learned. And I had to be back at work in the morning... And I worked today until 9 PM, though at a much more leisurely pace. .... So my boss for this company lives 2 doors down from Johnny, he actually introduced us. I was at his house setting up his wifes new iPhone and G3 (thats his new name, btw) comes in "I've got a story for you Elffie (his wifes new name, btw)!" "I just talked to Johhny's mom, and she told me a crazy story about why our IT guy was late this morning!".... wonderfuckingful.

But I owe that officer a great deal, and am thankful a million times over. I must have a guardian angel or something. No one gets out of a DUI in Virginia Beach.

Except this guy. Im driving home to Richmond for what will hopefully be the last time for business. I move in next Monday. O and G, the girl from the weekend, has been texting/calling me yesterday and today. We have a date on Tuesday. Yahtzee. Except I cleared my text log last night apparently and have no record of what I actually said to her, so thats always a little nerveracking. I just know we have a date on Tuesday, lol.

The Setup

So in my recent bout of Singleness, my buddy and his girlfriend have been teasing me with the idea of bringing one of her friends up her to play with. That sounds horrible I know, but that is exactly how they presented it. I won't turn something like that down, but I am definitly not the kind of guy to 'close a deal' overnight. Not wanting to ruin their fun, I continue to let them play with this idea, and eventually convinced myself it was indeed a wonderful plan.

So 17 (his g/f, and no she's not 17) texts me to make sure I'm free this weekend because her friend is coming up. Not only is her friend coming up, but shes coming up to get away from her d-bag of a boyfriend, apparently. So I asked some questions about this girl to see how much this experiment could fail. Turns out, its alot. I basically have no set type, although I have three qualifications: Attractive, Intelligent, and Emotionally Stable.
These are the answers to the questions I asked, more or less:

Is she attractive: 17: Shes not ugly at all. CT: I'd put a coupla holes in her, probably.
Conclusion.... alcohol will be necessary.

Is she intelligent: 17: Shes not dumb, no. CT: She's no engineer.... well I wouldn't say she really has book smarts.
Conclusion: Great, shes fucking retarded.

Is she a mess? 17: No, she's one of my better friends. CT: Looking at 17 quizically, "didn't you guys talk about drugs in the car last week?"
Conclusion: Awesome! Shoot me now.

So my overall impression is that if I get really drunk, I will be able to tolerate conversation with this girl in small doses, and sexual attraction might be a side-effect. Either way, the bar tab I will sustain in this endeavour will not justify whatever good could possibly come from this.

So I finish work and head over to 17's flat, expecting a miserable evening. I was only half right.

So I walk in and theres this cute girl in a hoodie, and I am introduced. We will call her G. G is for gangster. I'll explain later. So, G is neither unattractive nor does she give off the bimbo impression. Mind you, I was not expecting anything to write home about, so I haven't shaved, and am generally unprepared for the evening. Now I am embarassed, and shy. Wonderful way to meet somebody. Her first of impression of me was this: Boy looks at me casually, mouth drops slightly, says hello as he turns away... what is his deal? Actual thoughts of boy: o this must be her - o god. - turn away to talk to CT before you blush. Avoid Eye Contact. Go go go!

We talk a little, but I have basically had the stool pulled out from underneath me on this one. I thought it would be an easy charity case, not an actual viable female lol. Mentally regrouping... so we go to the club, which by the way is the worst place possible to get to know somebody if you are clumsy white boy such as maself.

My ex girlfriend was a dance minor, and was actually on VCU's dance team. So you would think I would have learned something. Not so much.. it really just emphasized that I have no place on a dance floor. So as luck might have it, this particular girl is also taking dance classes - hip hop classes. Wonderful. So that was embarassing. Liquid courage to the rescue. Didn't help. I dont think I could ever afford to get drunk enough to think I can dance at a club. It would have to be premeditated. But dear lord... club outfits... my god. So I mentioned earlier that she was cute, but wearing a hoodie and all. Well, I was setup on every count. Turns out, this girl is gorgeous. Long, beautiful hair, very cute face. Something about her eyes, too. They aren't like big doey seduce-me-please eyes, but something about them hinted at a deeper understanding. So on first impression, I can tick off Attractive and Intelligent (the eyes give it away). When we got back we stayed up til 4:30 talking, but I don't think she is interested. We shall see how this goes. The good news is that she lives relatively close to where I am moving next week. Her phone had died that night, so I felt foolish asking for her number, but I did leave her with mine. Not too hopeful, but we shall see.

Moral of the story, plan for the worst, hope for the best. And yes, worst case scenario was what happened. A blind date but not actually a date with an attractive girl whom you are totally unprepared for is worst-case.

Pictures

The Incredible Hulk

What a disaster of a movie. Edward Norton and Liv Tyler (gorgeous... mmm) put on great performances, but every other actor in that movie screws up except for the old Italian Restaurant Owner. Everyone else... just sucked. Haha not exactly a deep analysis, but what do you expect with lines like "Reload. Reload. Reload." ... "We're building a team." "Who?"

And to think I used to enjoy such things....

So yes, that is how I spent my Friday night. Some girl from some college who is a friend of a friend's girlfriend who is.... no wait thats the end. Anyways she is down for the weekend and I was supposed to hang out with said friend, friend's g/f, and friend's g/f's friend tonight, but something came up and here I am watching the Incredible Hulk. It could be worse though... Canada is supposed to be here but her mom doesn't trust her to drive.

Which brings me to the subject of this post: How much should a parent push their children to succeed, and how much should a parent protect the only thing in this world that is truly a piece of them?

I just erased about two pages.... i went off on some wild tangent about defining the elite of America. It was too jumbled to form an intelligent thought, and I will tackle that regurgitation of the mind at a later date.

Basically I am faced with this dilemma, when (or if) I do breed, and create little Me-and-my-Plus-1's , how do I present the world to them?

I would like nothing more than to create a legacy for my family. I was reading an article about Kennedy wanting Hilary's Senate seat, and it made a valid point. America has created its own dynasties. I feel like I need to take what my parents provided, and rise above that. I would have the same expectation of my son or daughter, because I would have worked very hard to give them a better opportunity than I was provided, because I am able to. I can't imagine there being anything more satisfying in life than to see your own children become someone greater than you yourself. It also stresses the importance of finding (and waiting for) the right person. You only get one shot at childrearing, theres no takebacks or erasies (legally).

So I dedicate my life to providing for my children, to being a role model to them, in the hopes of instilling in them the same drive and... will that my own father instilled in me, both through his actions and his chromosomes. I dedicate my life to developing their mental abilities and enriching their thoughts, as my mother did. They leave my care with all the tools and knowledge I could give (hopefully its more then than I currently possess). Now things get interesting.

I have two cousins whom I consider the closest thing living related to me by blood to be a success of the system, if you will. My Aunt had much the same dreams as I do. She worked a 2nd job to put both her daughters through college. Both have degrees from prestigious universities, both graduated from the International Baccalaureate program in High School. One just finished her internship at a beauty salon doing hair, and the other is finishing her masters in International Politics.

How would I feel if my child chose the salon route? I couldn't help but be disappointed. At the same time, I could encourage my child and hope that they turn it into something more. Said cousin could easily run a chain of salons, and is fluent in 3 languages. I hope that she quickly climbs in her career. But what if she doesn't? What is she is complacent coloring hair and perming old women? Can you really look down on someone who does what they love?

Simply, the answer is no. At the end of the day, the only thing you can be disappointed in is if you give your child everything they need to succeed, and they still end up stuck doing something which adds misery to their lives. The path to success is long and varied, just look at me :) If they are able to live a fulfilling life, what more can you have possibly provided?

If I had someone there watching every step for me, I would be a much different person. For better or for worse, I would be different. So I guess the only thing we can reasonably do is arm them with a quality mind, train them to apply it, and cross your fingers and toes as you say goodbye. Watching a child grow up as an adult is merely an extension of sending them on their very first schoolbus ride. And then you have to be there when they inevitably punch the girl who called them a name, skip class to go to the beach, sleep through that final exam, or take those 21 shots.

That is one thing I can say my stepmom has always done, thankfully. While I sometimes wished she pushed me harder, or was more protective, I can never say she has turned away at my missteps.

REBEL!! REBEL! Down with the Rents!!!... I can hear my little brother shouting.

The image of a grumbling Canada sitting at home because her mom is worried is still kinda cute, though. ;)



Haha and was that heavily edited. Man feareth 3 things: death, taxes, and the blue +

Family

My little brother just stopped by, and I hadn't seen him since he moved out last week. He had left all of his toiletries, which is why he came back, and hadn't shaved / brushed his teeth since then. It really hurts me to see him like that. He could (and we all could, I know) be so much more than he wants. I have to let him develop his own person though, however/wherever that takes him. I gave him everything he needed to succeed when he dropped out last Spring and moved in with me.

He made the decision to not take advantage of the break I cut him. I know that you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink and all that, but it doesn't change the fact that he is still my little brother and I want to see him succeed.

I asked him if I might need him to deliver something for me about an hour away tomorrow did he have any plans and he said give me $10 so I can get a new license, and its a deal. I feel like a mafioso or something.... so I gave him the $10 so he can go get it now. He is as I type this walking to the nearest DMV. I wanted badly to let him take my car, you know I'm sitting here at work not using it today. But I didn't, because for one I told him he would never drive it again so help me after the cigarette burns I found, and two if I keep letting him piggyback off of the things I have, he'll never have/want anything of his own.

We must all want to succeed, if forced upon us it is only temporary. I wish him luck in this life.

Across the Universe

Turn off your speakers, or hit the pause button... otherwise enjoy the new playlist.

Bourbon, and Cigars

Every Tuesday has become a sort of ritual at my house. A good friend of mine recently returned from Iraq, albeit slightly damaged. He was never sane to begin with, but it certainly didn't help. He is starting to sleep more now, which is good. I was a little worried when he first got back. The best part about... oh a good name for him would be CT, about CT is that he appreciates many the things I do. It was he who introduced me to good bourbon when I was a younger lad. Twas he who forced me to consume my first Carbomb the night before a chemistry test, as well. I owe him many thanks. CT was actually my PI way back when I was pledging. He got his orders shortly after I was initiated. We have been making up for lost time, though.

Back to Tuesday nights, CT and I have begun taking turns bringing a bottle of whiskey and he usually brings the cigars. Tonight though, was a special affair. With me leaving in a couple of weeks and break coming, I figured I'd splurge this time. I also needed to give him a reason to leave his g/f for a night lol. Jefferson's Reserve was the trick. I had never heard of Jefferson's Reserve until Bluegrass Brewing Company made a delicious concoction in its honor. The BBC Jefferson's Reserve Imperial Bourbon Barrel Stout is one of the best beers I have ever tasted. It is aged in the same casks as it's namesake bourbon for 6 months, picking up a strong hint of bourbon, and the smoothness oak barrels bring. It will also knock your socks off at 10.6% and not a lick of alcohol in its taste. Definitely not a session beer for you English types. So, I wanted to meet the maker, if you will.

I was not disappointed by any means, either. There is something about sitting on your porch, sipping on a small batch bourbon that simply can't be beat by the party scene. There is no sense of urgency, there is no need to "pregame" or "beat happy hour." I drank one of the best bourbons I have ever had, and I still have the better part of a bottle, and spent less than a nights bar tab. And you don't wake up feeling like a train hit you, and you don't go to sleep feeling like your missing out on the party that's still going on.

We sit on the porch, smoke a cigar (I can handle cigars, barely) and enjoy the evening. Also fun is making fun of the drunk kids walking back from parties or the lame kids wandering aimlessly trying to 'find the party.' Either way, we were once just like them and it is amusing. The best is the dumb girls though... aye. Girls: "Are you guys Frat Boys!?!?!?!?" .some would call us that, yes. "OOoOOoOoHhHh Which Ooone?" .Theta Tau. "Theta Tau.... is that like Theta Chi?" .not quite... we're a professional, engineering fraternity. "No... its an Engineering... Oh. So do guys like party?" .do you drink whiskey?. "Eewww gross. I know a guy in Theta Chi!" ... They're mostly harmless, and there's always one girl whose eyes light up when we say engineering. There are two reasons for this: 1. Her mother is smart and told her to find an engineering boy to marry. 2. She would enjoy a talking to us about such things, but can't admit it because her friends would be lost in seconds.
I used to not believe the second one, until one girl said she did First! Robotics in high school. Our organization ran the First! tournament for several years so most of the participants know at least one Brother, if they are not aware of the organization itself. AfroNinja, my roommate and Big Brother, was really big in First! in high school and still mentored its team when he had time, so they started talking about robot stuff. The other two girls just kinda rolled their eyes and looked silly until they got bored and dragged her away... But we were not on the porch to hit on young girls, so when they do stop by its more of a spectacle than anything else.

It is nights like last night that I will miss the most leaving Richmond. They were much more prevalent in years past, but I still cherish them. Like the night Billy and Old Man and I sat on the porch talking about the future til 6 am. They had assigned a cop to watch us or something because we got a 'roll by' 18 times in 4 hours. Or running from the dirt-bike mounted Police on Bell Isle (an island which had both exits blocked by more police) for 3 hours one night. Thank the lord for the 4 am shift change. So many of my best memories here were with OT.
Nothing Golden Lasts Forever.

Really GMail.. really?

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I don't even know what to say about this.

Come together. Right now. Over me.

So the other night I watched Across the Universe. Amazing movie. All aspects of it were amazing. And the Beatles are amazing as well, of course. So today was a good day.

During last week's financial aid snafus, 2 Final Exams, and work, I fell really far behind with my biggest client. I thought that I was going to loose the account any day, and the owner sent me a message basically asking for references of who else could do the work that I do because I obviously couldn't handle it anymore.

I basically responded that I agreed, I was stretched too thin, and that I could find someone to maintain the website but for all the stuff I do for them, they would need to hire a part-time IT Admin or something along those lines. Which is true. Today, we had a meeting of sorts, and I gave a presentation of my plans to overhaul the companies communications structure over the winter break and integrating everyone into google apps. There is only 4 people, but its a huge mess and they are trying to grow and things are slipping through the various email addresses, voicemailboxes, etc. Needless to say he was very impressed and tonight I am catching up on the work I fell behind on after spending all day getting that comm thing together. Whew... I was kinda nervous there for a minute.

I really dont have time, I am basically devoting my only day off to this company, but I was looking at the cost of a Z4 lol and realized that 7 days is what I need to be working if I'm ever going to have a good enough job to play with one. I say play because a car like that is just a toy lol. That and I calculated out how much I will probably make off of the account, not to mention the experience I gain because everything they face is common to most if not all small businesses. Most of what I know I have learned working with them since I was like 17. The first time I ever setup a wireless network was theirs. Oh how far I have come.

Back to work... I am the Walrus. Koo Koo Cajoo.

My Driving Test

Reading about Jaime's test has inspired me lol. Ya'll should enjoy this one.

Now let me set the scene. I was (and still am) one of the cockiest geeks you'll ever meet in highschool. I was captain of the JV Soccer team, and was now on the Varsity squad, and had a cool non-16-year-old job for a computer company as a technician and salesman, and all the cute little girls in the Health Science Academy had a crush on either me or my friend, Johnny-boy. (Yes from thanksgiving) We were both on the soccer team, both in all AP courses and both cocky lil things. O and we had our high school administration wrapped around our fingers. So I guess we had reason to be cocky, but not that cocky. Cocky starts sounding funny after you say it 15 times, fyi.

So... here in VA we have Behind-the-Wheel. Its through the school and during lunch. I was in the car with 2 other girls, Ashlei Wo-Skeet-Skeet and some random ghetto girl. It was Bayside... if you went there, you understand what I'm talking about. Actually WoSkeetSkeet ended up marrying my boss from Sonic and I was to be among the Groomsmen at the wedding. Small world..

So, its not that hard, its just driving, and the instructor is nice enough. Except everything she made the girls do, she found a way to make it harder for me. We would each take turns driving for 15 minutes at a time. She had WoSkeetSkeet drive down into some neighborhood that was had really windy roads on the beach. It was very hilly and had pine trees EVERYWHERE. she instructs her to turn down this onelane road and drives like a 1/4 mile down it. Dead end. I'm thinking, O SHIT! finally a girl has to do somehting hard. Like a 4 point 180. Right? Right?

Not so much. She tells Ashliei to get out, and that I am up. So I am like.... turn around, big deal, i get lost all the time. Nothing new.

"Backup, and don't hit any mailboxes or you fail."

*Mouth is now hanging on floor*

But I did it. And all was well. Except... on the way back.

So she had Ghetto drive down Shore Drive to get us home. Mistake.

Ghetto can't drive. At All. She veeers off the road, onto the rumblestrips going 60 on the most deadly road in Va Beach. The Instructor tries to pull the wheel, but to no avail. We are careening off the road and Ghetto is shrieking and digging her 4" nails into the wheel, and her arms are locked tense. Instructor finally overcomes the power of ignorance and pulls wheel towards road. O M G. I almost became another cross on the side of Shore Dr.

Then the next week I am in the middle of a week with 2 soccer games, I am working the days we dont have games after practice. and to top it all off, its like the end of the 3rd quarter. Oh and I had just started a new allergy medicine, which apparently makes me drowsy.

Needless to say I fell asleep behind the wheel and hit a trashcan lol. Yea... muy mal. It was a plastic trashcan, and I was already stopping because I couldn't keep my eyes open, but yea. She was not happy.

Next week, our driving test.
Summary: WoSkeetSkeet passes with flying colors.
Ghetto passed, but barely and i quote from the instrutor, "You didn't mess up enough to fail, but for your safety and your insurance companies, don't PARK NEAR CARS."

Me... Light at Va Beach Blvd and Witchduck turned yellow on me. I gunned it... i thought I made it... She disagreed. I failed.

Shame. Embarassment.... hiding under the floor tiles.

Next week I did fine but I to this day have a fear of yellow lights. I have stopped in the middle of intersections because the light turned yellow... its like a phobia thing.

And that kids, is my story of Behind the Wheel. According to my mom, who might be a bit racist: Black women are statistically the worst category of drivers by race and sex.

Dunno how true it is.. but omg i can believe it.

Eh... history.

Financial Aid. Pain in my ass. Apparently ODU doesn't accept my step mom as my mother on my FAFSA and rejected my claim unless I do one of two things: get my biological mother's tax info, or appeal for independence. Easier said than done. I had to prove that I hadn't had any contact with her. Which is hard to do when I don't really have contact with anyone tha actually knows her. So... some weeks later I have everything I need for this appeal except the court papers. I had my mom fedex my dads death certificate, because apparently they wanted to verify my story... bullshit in my opinion. Here I am dragging all these things up for what ended up being only 3 grand. Not worth it IMO. So Monday morning I spent the entire day in the various courts of Va. Beach. BTW, I now remember why I cut off contact with my maternal family. Bunch of screwups. Every courts waiting lobby is just filled with the screwups and wastes of space we call the lower class. Coming from this class, I can say that lol. I spent many a day as a child waiting in line at the Social Security office. F that S. So I started with Juvenile and Domestic relations. There I get the change of custody papers giving my stepmom custody with my father... not quite what I was looking for to prove I hadn't seen my mother since 2000. Chica at the window tells me that that is the most recent thing in the file. I tell her to just give me the entire thing, I'll figure it out. College advisors and court clerks... can't trust em for anything. So there it is, WHAM! A single sheet of paper with 4 lines of actual non-header bs text.

"Debrah Jean Patterson is hereby denied visitation."
"Admitted to the court use of cocaine and marijuana."
"In regards to yadda yadda 3 kids."

No one has ever been that excited to find such a report lol. I was really nervous I was wasting my time because nothing had officially gotten to a judge. That was basically all I needed but it was from 2000 and alot can happen in 8 years, and ODU was being particularly assinine in my case.

Onward to civil court...
Divorce papers... 9 pages worth. Nothing really interesting there. Which dissappointed me. I was hoping for a good read about why they actually got divorced... alas.

Criminal court...
This one was kind of a stab in the dark because I had heard mention of my mom getting in legal trouble after I cut off contact. Well I hit gold again. The clerk told me there were 15 counts and it was $2 each count to get a copy... but that it was all available online. So I went home and found 8 of the counts, the rest went to a higher court and would require considerable searching. The eight were all i needed though. Eight guilty pleas to felonies ranging from check fraud to money laundering. I was like goddam.... and those genes are in me... :(

So Tuesday morning, I wake up to an email saying my request for financial aid had been denied because I waited too long. I called that office in a second. They were like sorry, better luck next time. I told her to put some paper in her fax machine. I sent over a 30 page packet I dont think they were ready for. She called me back in an hour and was like, your appeal has been approved. Financial aid hit my account today.

Point, me.

But the trip realy enforced who I do and do not want to be in this life, and how easy it is to fall into that self-pitying cycle of destitution and food stamps. And ignorance... the things I heard in that courtroom. Defense lawyers are scum, as a general rule fyi. Enjoy Ally.

A Long Week (or 2)

So much has happened since my last post... thank goodness lol I was in a pretty sour state. I guess I have to start from the beginning... and by beginning I think that's thanksgiving.

I started my first week out of training and had a very positive/wild experience. I was given Thanksgiving Day off, and I went to Va Beach to be back home Wednesday night. It has become a tradition with my core high school friends to all get together the night before thanksgiving and pretty much catch up and get smashed. It started our Freshman year, when I had only taken my first drink of alcohol a week earlier. Needless to say it didn't end as well as last week's.

If I recall correctly that was the night Johnny-boy almost died on my floor. He has really bad knees and has been on heavy doses of pain meds and what not since I can remember. We played soccer together in high school and I always remember him popping a handful of tylenol before practice. I can only assume his liver is making him pay for it eventually. We all have our issues though... I have like a 7 degree scoliosis going on that makes one of my hips lower than the other. It was never a problem (and continues to not be) until I found myself running/sprinting (mostly sprinting thank you coach..) 4 miles a day. Personally, I don't like pain meds in the least but I digress once again. Oh yea so the point of that tangent was that he misread the bottle on his antiinflammatory and took like 4x what he should have and then split a bottle of rum with me. ... mother was not pleased when she got home. (She is a recovered alchoholic... I know I know, on all counts, guilty)

The group has changed a little, and too my liking. So this is my 4th Thanksgiving away from home, and the 5th without my father. My mom has stopped cooking except for that year, and even then it wasn't right. Sophomore year a girl I was dating invited me to her house. (I broke my ankle in an... incident with a pledge the week before and couldn't have driven home if I had a car) This pledge just so happened to be like a 2-time national junior karate champion and decided he wanted to wrestle his pledge instructor. Guess how it went for me. Last year I want to say that I went to my mom's in SC. This year Johnny-boys family had me over. So night before, (I know I talk too much and get distracted easily, but we are back in recent-present-tense) Johnny-boy, Jesus, Chubby Cheeks and one of johnny's boys from a soccer team. CC and I had went out for dinner beforehand and had a great time.

Although one thing stuck out, we were talking about relationships, etc. (I dated two of her friends seriously in High School) and she started talking about her new boo. It seams CC has fallen for a hard working country boy. Unfortunately he plays the part a little too well. Lol her biggest complaint is that he doesn't text. I think I just have higher standards because I got her to admit that they didn't ever really talk like me and her do. I couldn't date someone that I couldn't connect with on an intellectual level. Not that hes dumb at all, I have tried to date people that were very simple (not in a derogatory way either) and it just feels like something is missing. Point in case would be Ms. May. Not matter how hard I try to stand this girl, she can't hold the other side of a decent conversation to save her life. The only time we ever actually had an ebb and flow resembling a conversation was when she brought up Sarah Palin. I say resembling because she started off by praising her intelligence, so I wasn't exactly candid in my feelings. Great woman, couldn't do all she does, don't want her anywhere near a national office.

Anyways so I ended up leaving my little brother in Richmond because he was being a pain in the ass about everything. He said he would rather stay, so I left without him. He had nowhere to go, so it kind of made sense. I felt bad for him, so I arranged a bus ticket for him and picked him up at 6am from the Greyhound station, with no idea where I was gonna take him for Thanksgiving. I just knew that I couldn't let him sit at home cold and alone over the break. He was mostly against it but somehow I convinced him to follow my directions. Six AM came WAY too fast after the night I had.


We had left my car at the bar and CC gave us a ride home to Jesus' house. There is nothing more sobering than a 2 mile walk in sub-freezing temperatures in a hoodie and jeans. I promise. Ended up taking him with me to Johnny's and enlisted his back in helping us split wood. I figured they were having me over for dinner (and now most likely my little brother as I still had no plans) so I figured it was the least I could do. We spent the entire day splitting wood. I think the 3 of us split a cord and a half by 4 pm. ... "O he is a lumberjack and hes ok..."

My brother kind of wigged out just before dinner (he really didn't know any of Johhnys family and it was practically a second family to me, so I gave him my keys and made some arrangements with my ex who lived down the street's sister, as they were good friends in highschool and hadn't seen each other in a while.) and they were slightly offended but I handled it pretty well I think. Thanksgiving was AMAZING... its nice having real food every once in a while. Although... scallops were on sale today and I had this for dinner. Quite delicious, though I wish I had more vegetables.
But yes, so Thanksgiving went really great. Then came Black Friday. I didn't realize what Black Friday really was until last week. All weekend was basically OT overload so I was trying to get a slice of that pie. I put in a 16 hour-day on Friday, and barely put a dent in what needed to be done. At one point I was working on 4 systems at one time. Exhilarating at the same time though. I really think I am going to like this job. Oh and my schedule is perfect. I got everything with ODU squared away, and I have a full course load registered and everything is gonna work out great. I talked to my soon-to-be new roommates the other day and everything is set there too. I've lived here for three years almost to the day.... I'm gonna miss this hell-hole of a house. At the same time, it's about time to move into a house with a dishwasher.

It's finals week, and I think I'm going to make out fairly well this year. Although for better or worse, my second test in Finance was apparently lost so my final is now half my grade. I'm pretty sure I failed that test so again I have to say someone is looking out for me up there, but still.. no pressure lol. My paycheck hit from all that overtime, which was nice. Since quitting my old job my bank account has hovered at $15 and I wiped out my savings, so having income is good again. I was a week away from financial disaster. Oh and another bonus about my job, on wednesday morning I was dead tired from not sleeping and had to be at work at 8 am. We don't get busy until 11 usually and this morning felt particularly slow... I put my headset on, turned up my speakers, and went to sleep until I got dinged. 2 hours later, I got dinged. Sleep acquired. Yahtzee. Abnormal, but most convenient.

Next semester is all Finance, Accounting, and Management classes with one Programming in C++ course. Yippee! C++ should be a breeze. Well im off to sleep. O and Ben Kweller, he sounds like the lead singer from weezer, only he is still trying. Im a fan.

Sorry: Take Two Steps Back

So... It's the end of weekend in which I accomplished very little and feel somewhat meh. I had a lot to do this weekend, from balancing the books, to putting two invoices totaling about 3,000 together that are a month old, to overhauling a website. I got none of the above mentioned, and I still haven't submitted my schedule nor have I got my class schedule done. Every class I want to take has some prereq that I have not taken because I am a failzor and dropped American Lit I again this semester. It is preventing me from finishing my A.S., which would erase all of my prereqs for 300-level courses. So... I can't take GUI Programming in C++, Introduction to Information Systems, Data Base Concepts, Business Policy and Strategy... none of it until I get all of this shit straightened out. And it's all my fault. And I have no other courses left to take, because completing English will give me credit for all of them. What I am left with is... Finance and accounting courses that I AM eligible for at the 300 level. Does anyone smell a minor? or 2? Oy vey. I feel like every time I catch a break, I shoot myself in the foot again. I am usually not this pathetic, but hey, give me my once a semester fuck me post, eh? There are outs though, but they involve American Literature. Go figure. I could arrange to take the CLEP test next week, somehow miraculously pass it, and then somehow miracu - nope actually that wouldn't help at all. Nope, I've got no outs. I would just like to point out that an English course is preventing me from enrolling in C++. WTF? O and for all you who are thinking "he must be retarded" I am great at English, I had an A in it up til I stopped going. This is the third time I have withdrawn from the course consecutively. For some reason which I cannot fathom, this is the one course I cannot pass. I took AP 11 and AP 12 with no problems... senior year, I fell asleep during the Mid-Term and Jesus woke me up (you'll meet him soon enough) with 15 minutes left, and I crushed it. English is something I've always excelled at... it's just a mental block or something. I can't figure it out.

Well Fuck it. I'll figure it out. I always do. But I can't help but think that I am going to spend 6 years as an undergraduate student. And that is sad. Moving on....

Its 1:35 AM, and I am in Va Bch, and I have to be in Richmond at 9 am for work. And I am blogging. O well... I did accomplish something though, and thats get my number on my iPhone ported over from Verizon so now my old number in back and I can give out business cards without writing on them... which is embarassing to say the least. Allright, enough of a sob story. I'm driving home and going to work.

Things to do tomorrow:

Call ODU.
Email every professor in the IT Department asking for overrides.
Prey.
If above task is successful, call Merry.
If not, continue on list.
Work.
Sleep.
Aye.

And Heffer, it's all starting to make sense to me. That hollow loneliness, the feeling it can't last forever. It's not long before I follow you, Brother. But I am torn between two lives. I see how both play out, and I like your way better. ... I had a complex thought but then my iTunes starting playing Gospel from Lord knows where (you see what I did there) and my focus is gone... where did this come from? ... as I went down to the river to pray, studying about that good ole way... who is Alison Krauss? Anyways...

Open the gates and seize the day. Don't be afraid and don't delay.


And because I like links: Sleeping with Big Tobacco

Stress

So I have to submit my preferred schedule for the next n months of my life with the new job. I'm trying to schedule all of my classes on Tuesday and Thursday... we'll see how well it works out. 40 Hours a week at work.... 15 credit hours... plus my own business... == Not much time for fun. Meh. And I'm moving into the Chapter house at ODU... which means I can hear all the fun, but can't participate. Doubley meh. Oh well... with all that work, I can start amassing my fortune. I'll just Old School it when I'm rich. Make up for lost opportunities and all that.

Oh, and if you think these girls will grow out of it, go to a campus on Sorority Bid Night. :)

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Marry Me says Merry

So... what a day. Well work started at 9 am and im actually taking calls now and I got a PC that like 4 other people had claimed to have incorrectly fixed. I got ahold of it, got permission to work on it, and it ended up taking til 9:45 that night. Don't get me wrong, most of that was waiting on various scans and processes to complete, and I was fixing other problems at the same time. At one point, I had three open tickets lol. Im in training, and thats against the rules even if ur a 'vet.' I need another monitor... so i ordered one today. Yessss I AM that big of a geek. Swordfish anyone? Yahtzee. And this one has HDMI input.... BluRay? I think so. After I finally finshed 4 hours after my scheduled end of shift (I didn't want to be another reject and leave it unfinished, gotta make a good first impression. Well that and I'm a geek and was enjoying fixing what no1 else could fix :) ) I went to the library to listen to the VHS (I know who the hell uses a VCR) of the class I had missed last week. Then I went home and was about to start studying when:

Merry calls me. Its her 21st birthday, and she sounds a little tipsy. Merry and I were really good friends until she went on this Reborn Christian craze where everything pleasurable was hedonistic and God became her world. It was pretty ridiculous at first, and given my feelings on organized religion, we had several philosophical discussions in which we had to agree to disagree ( by that I mean she told me that I'm not listening to her and that if I were to just accept Jesus Christ I would understand, and that she didn't want to discuss any further because I had poked a hole in her zealous thoughts ) Now by no means am I the antichrist, I have just had a bad experience with organized religion of the type that she was involved. I am very spiritual, I just simply don't belong to a church. And the things she was saying were WAY out of left field. She eventually saw that she was pushing all of her friends away and judging everyone for not subscribing to her ways, and came a little more to the center. We still didn't hang out alot... but I digress. So Merry shows up at my house, and it got kind of interesting. I'll spare you the details, the gist of it is this:

Merry often thinks of marrying me.

She cries sometimes because she can never marry me because I am not a Christian.

She cannot kiss me (on the lips) because I do not believe in her God.

Merry is in love with me (although with the Marry thing you can assume that I guess)

Merry can't stress enough just how much she loves me.

Apparently the temptation to do the above was too great for her and so she left... to another guy's house. At 3 am.

Is your head spinning as much as mine is right now? I guess he believed in her God?

Anyways... it's now 4am, I have a test at 10 am for Marketing 311, and I have a conference call at 9 am. And I have 5 chapters to read from my textbook for MRKT 311. Yet, I still can't stop trying to digest just exactly what I experienced there.

Never a dull moment in my life. O and if you want to hear how gay the music is I listen too, just open this in IE, I change it fairly regularly. Enjoy.

I think I'm going to start logging how many hours I sleep a night here.... just to have a record for when I go insane, you know, for the judge and all. "Your honor, look, it's right here on my blog. I hadn't slept for 3 days straight when I put my little brother (19, not so little) on my roof and drove down the interstate to show him what it feels like to be 'driven crazy' by your brother."

Hmm... I can imagine thats an accurate depiction of it actually.

Study....

Merry:

Merry and Me way back.

Sick Individual

I know your name, but I'm all about format :)

I seam to have struck a nerve. Yes I agree her poems are all sad... very very sad. I didn't say I dislike Whitman, but reading Emily's poems... that emotion of sadness is so strong. Its seeps through the white space on the page. And I think thats what poetry is about, conveying emotion through ink on paper.
Then again, judging poetry is by no means objective. Dead Poets Society comes to mind...
O Captain My Captain!

That said, they are both great poets. I did not mean to offend. Although I am flattered to have a post in my honor hehe.

Oh and my name, is Robert. OT KG refers to a group of people, 68 refers to me among them. So "68" would identify me, but OT KG could be 100 people. FYI. And I agree, pizazz was indeed the wrong word for her, and very correct for Whitman. It was early... I'm not very smart... what can I do?

More importantly, Dr. Seuss is a genius. Or an Acid-Fiend. Or Both.

Oh and 10 points if you can tell me what this song is from. 15 if you can name another song from the same album.

O Wait Come Back!

So I realized I haven't updated. You kids (or kid, with my current readership status) don't know what happened this weekend! Well, I'm gonna tell you in a second, sit down. .... Ritalin, get some.

So.... my friend Chubby Cheeks, or CC for short, who was also mentioned in my first post, told me when I was up at tech that she loves getting all dressed up and would be my date to my fraternity's formal. Well CC came through and looked gorgeous too. I think I pissed off my ex! I told her I was bringing a date, and that she had a boyfriend, but I don't think she was ready for CC lol. O well... what can you do? Needless to say I'm pretty sure we were the hottest couple in the room. And we had a great time too! We got a pizza, and we stayed up listening to music til like 2 AM! Which isn't late unless you are an old man like me... :( O and I like Owl City, deal with it.

O and me and Canada went to Hooters on Sunday night and grabbed some wings. Wow... I didn't realize how close we were to collapsing as a society... History repeats itself, and I'm thinking Rome's coliseum is our NFL stadium. Haha speaking of I think I'm going to a gladiator match to see the Jetties last home game of the season.

O dear

So.... I'm now in transition training for work. Its 9 - 5 for the next two weeks. More importantly, its 6:53 AM and i think im still drunk. I am a new fan of happy hour. 2 dollars.... this is amazing! So yea obviously last night got out of hand because I woke up on the couch, my little brother is sleeping in my bed (im bout to give him a BIG HUG!) and his friend is sleeping on my floor. Just cuz i got drunk and crashed on the couch does NOT mean u can sleep ur dirty hippy ass in my bed. And I smell smoke in my room. Im gonna give him such a big bear hug and maybe pee on him when I s- no i wont pee on him, hes still in MY bed silly - submit this entry. But seriously, who does that? He has a bed, for crying out loud. Why my bed? O, and powerade leaves a thick film in your mouth... which im willing to accept in return for its faerie-like healing powers. "Let me soothe your wounds..." Haha LoZ aL2tP? Haha im gonna start carrying around jars to stick girls in. I like your style Link.


Ok.... but seriously tell him to get out of my bed. I wanna go back to sleep until I'm sober!

Kisses,


68

Edit: So my roommate just filled me in and i embarrassed myself at the pizza parlor next door apparently... but he did commandeer my phone and left us with a timelapsedish view of my demise.










So... at said parlor, the owner got conned into buying like 10 cases of this beer call Spreckers. or something like that. Anyways, only I know about it, its not very good, but its only 1.50 a bottle for me. Whenever I am already drunk, all of a sudden drinking a horrible "Amber Ale" from a brewery famous for its cream soda for $1.50 seams like a good idea. I guess this makes up for the bottle of Weyerbacher's Riserva I cracked open last week. If you haven't heard of it, find a really good friend that has some because I'm pretty sure distribution was limited to 1200 bottles (I have 8 left, so maybe I could be that friend)

The Stock Market

So if you read a newspaper, or have stumbled across cnn.com accidentally in the last six months, you know our economy is going to shit. Fear not though, the rich will get richer. WE CAN NOT HAVE multimillionaires living NORMAL lives... so we bail them out. 5 trillion dollars could overhaul the entire US national infrastructure. 5 trillion dollars could give everyone willing to put forth the effort a Harvard education. 5 trillion dollars could buy an entire middle east country, solving our oil problems (only half-joking). 5 trillion dollars spent correctly is enough to drag ANY economy out of a rut. 5 trillion dollars left to the flawed theories of trickle down economics, well that's just business as usual. I am so disgusted with the corruption that plagues our Treasury/Federal Reserve/Financial Sector right now. Everyone is trying to salvage their fuckups. What is the point of a free market if you don't let it fall? It HAS to fall. It is inevitable. When companies fail, they dont just disappear overnight. They are held accountable for their poor decisions. What the US has done has allowed banks to go all-in on a low pocket pair, and then given them more money so they can win back their losses. It might work once in a while on TV, but in reality, your best bet is to leave the table and go back to real work.

Working From Home

So the new job I have started is as a remote support technician. I work from home. I am still in training, for 9 hours a day. I have never in my life sat still for this long, ever. I have always played a sport, or waited tables, or something, anything that would allow me to get up and move around. I wish I had a wireless headset so I could go jogging during these damn conference calls haha. On another note, I can have a beer which is one way to distract myself. I have been working through the stock of stouts that I have been saving all summer, and I just mistakenly opened up a World Wide Stout that hasn't had time to age yet. Waste of $10... and its 18% so i cant chug it because well... I'm still at work haha. That would be bad news bears. I thought it was a raison d'etre... I know I know green cap, brown cap... I'm retarded. But the experience has renewed my resolve to find a 4-pack of the Palo Santo Marron for a reasonable price. Well that and the cool video I watched about how they get the wood for the giant barrels they brew it in. Ho humm..... well tomorrow is the last day of training and I don't necessarily feel ready to start this job yet. But I'm sure they won't just drop us into a den of lions.

The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. I wish we had a working fireplace. My house was built in 1916 so all the fireplaces are walled off because they don't meet code (alot of Richmond burned during this crazy made up thing called a civil war, so fire codes here are pretty strict). I need to find a girl with a fireplace, and seduce her into letting me sit in front of it with a good book. She can do whatever she wants, I just want to sit in front of her fireplace.

Well... back to training. I've got to fix some simulatedly broke computers. Always fun! O and I got this text from one of my own clients today:

"I am sick of the re-occuring error green and red lines on emails and docs please don't forget about this..."

I think hes talking about the auto spell check and grammar check. I hope not...
Well... I guess that's why I make the big bucks... :)

More NYC Pictures

These are from the Jets game which I largely left undescribed in my earlier entry. Needless to say, we all had a blast. The older two are my step brother and sister, they are pretty sweet. You might recognize Canada from the NYC Skyline pic.

Work

So I started a new job this past week, and I am really excited. For starters, the only reason that I have this job is that I drink too much haha. For the last year and half or so, I have been working at a really nice beer bar (it's actually ranked in the top 10 of America) called the Capital Ale House. Many of the beer drinkers out there will recognize the name. So working there, I have been spoiled because my taste for good beer is far above and beyond what anyone would call normal. Thats also why when I saw the sign for a Belgium beer bar in NYC, I had to bring Canada to it. Everyone should experience what a beer can and should taste like. Delicious. So... anyone who has worked in the service industry knows that there are good nights and bad nights.

I had just had a particularly bad night, and I had several BBC Jefferson Reserve's before I left work that night, and when I got home I started looking for a new job. I passed out, and forgot all about it. Apparently, the universe had its eye on me that night, because the next week I got a call from a really reputable company about a remote support position. Needless to say, I quit Cap Ale the day after they offered me a job, and have been in training since last Friday. I am super excited. I finally have a job related to my desired career and major (IT), and it is a real job, with a real income, and really great benefits. Not bad for 21. Its very strange, the concept of not working until I get cut, or getting paid holidays, etc. It will take some getting used to being treated like a human being, not another body who happens to take better care of customers than the rest.

Allright... so that's not entirely true. As I mentioned in the NYC post, until last Friday I have been not working since... about a month now. I had requested the weekend before Halloween off because of fraternity regional meeting held at Tech. I am somewhat of a legend to the colony down there (good luck guys) from a previous trip, and make a point to support them when I can. Anyways, so I put in my two weeks on a Thursday, and since I only work weekends I had the next two days to work and then the Tech trip, so thats the end of Cap Ale for me. I figured I would take Halloween off as an extended vacation to myself, so I told the new job that I would like to start Nov. 7. Well, needless to say I missed my last two shifts because I fell asleep driving back from VB the morning of and nearly wrecked. In typical me fashion, I said screw you guys, I'm going home! Thus began my extremely extended vacation. Which was awesome (Tech was pretty epic itself, and I scored a date to the formal) in and of itself, because I hadn't had a weekend off in many many many moons.

That said, I will miss several things about the old restaurant. The first is the discount on all the great beer. At the store I left, there were 80 taps of the best imported and American craft beers. Where else do you get such rarities as Lindemans Framboise, DFH 120, BFM, Harvieston Old Dubh 30 year Firkins.... O the fine things. And beer geek week.... o the memories. I learned so much there, but I really think working in a beer bar you have two options, alcoholism, or suppressed alcoholism. That and the host staff was always really cute. Haha... yea I said that. Hopefully, I will survive training and become a certified Solutions Engineer by next week!

Im growing up waay too fast. Someone pinch me. My mother told me she was proud of me today... This is the same woman who I showed how I had created a bar in my basement at 18.

NYC... the Big Apple

Well this tale of epicness was supposed to go untold in print, because of several reasons. But I had a life-changing weekend and I think I need to at least make record of it for myself.

Halloween is not generally an exciting time for me. I like to see sluts walk around just as much as the next guy, but this year it was gonna be great. I wasn't working *what?* and I had a ton of plans. JMU was first on my list. A good friend had invited me to her party and seeing her costume pictures the next day.... aye.... I definitely missed out. What a gorgeous creature she is... haha pinup indeed. But alas, the less i pursue Pinup the better I fear. It's funny the sacrifices we make to maintain relationships. I've always disagreed with sacrificing one to strengthen another, but I find myself doing it more and more lately. Alas, I digress!

So I also had plans to celebrate another good friends birthday in Va Bch Saturday, and a ton of work to catch up on, and two tests on Tuesday, and a test on Monday. Aye, it was summing up to be a busy busy weekend. Then my phone rings. We'll call her Blondie. Blondie is an old friend from high school that i jokingly call my daughter. Actually she was referenced in my first post, ironically enough. She would be girl numero uno, the highest scoring of the trio, but also the least probable. That hasn't changed at all in light of recent events, which is again strange.

No Blondie is no good... its like insulting her. ahhhhhhh.. Canada. Perfect.

So Canada calls me on Wednesday telling me that there is a long story and she doesn't want to tell it but that I MUST cancel all my plans this weekend and escort her to NYC. What on earth could she possibly dangle in front of my face to make me even consider that kind of irrational thinking, not to mention I've been out of work for 3 weeks and am almost bankrupt?

The Colbert Report tickets.

Yep... that's all I needed. I was in as much disbelief when I said yes as she was. The story as too why I am joining her instead of her originally planned partner in crime is hers to tell, but what happened next is ours.

So away I go, calling people to cancel. I had friends from Richmond staying with friends from JMU, and they had never met, and I had to cancel on all of them. And I still haven't officially canceled on VB friend, and I'm not sure if she will ever forget me. I think I'm sending her flowers next week when I get paid, I do truly feel pretty horrible about that. But everything was canceled, I packed enough clean underwear for 4 nights, and threw all my schoolstuff in the car (so i could, you know, study...) and headed to the beach. I pulled an all nighter (Thursday btw) updating a website I had drastically neglected for previously mentioned client (btw, I am once again in said office at this point) and in the morning, fixed something which I had not broken and then I went to pick up Canada who told me she is waiting at said office.

I am under the impression she has been dropped off (her Yaris is in the shop) and so am in somewhat of a hurry to pick her up as leaving a beautiful blond in an industrial park is asking for trouble. I fly around the corner where she is parked waiting with father (whom I respect to the utmost and would like nothing else than to have trust me) with radio blaring enough to make the seamstress next door complain and everyone take notice. I park.... I am confused. I call... she answers.

"Where are you....?" "You just passed us."
Uss? Dammitttttt.

I hadn't seen her father since my senior year of high school, so that was nice except for the complete embarrassment part... which I might get over before I die.

She throws her monster of a suitcase (though less than I was expecting, point Canada) in the trunk, and tries to hide the handles of alcohol I had thrown in the trunk in the event we are unable to secure Canada an ID in NYC.

I considered hiring a babysitter in such an event, but discounted the idea just as quickly.... it would be in bad taste i decided. So I grabbed a coupla bottles from the bar... you never know when or where a party will evolve. I like to be prepared.... I don't have to explain myself to a blog, dammit!

We vamos... off to Philadelphia to meet up with a coupla she used to nanny for. I have been dating a girl off and on for several months and it was just this past Monday we had our first kiss. It was the first time I felt she was worthy of me kissing her... which is sad. It hasn't happened since. I don't think it will happen again, either. The reason I mention this is that on a 7 hour car ride, we talked non-stop, and I don't recall a single awkward moment or lull in conversation. Perhaps I was just talking her ear off, and she's just a good listener. But I'm going to pretend that's not the case. But.... the reason I kissed that girl that night is because we actually had a conversation, which I have discovered is not as easy as I thought with females today. Such conversation has yet to be replicated, nor has the desire to kiss her occurred again. So when we arrived and I hadn't once thought to myself, "When can I get out of this car and drop this girl off?" I was surprised a little bit. It turns out Canada and I have become very similar since high school in many ways. She has become quite the respectable girl, and I think its safe to say that I am very proud to say I know her. The family was very cute, and their little girl was fricking adorable. She gobbled up two slices of pizza from Canada's plate, like a small sea monster. It was really awkward though because I think they might have thought that we dated. That and I am sleeping in someones house who I don't know, and I'm not drunk... unusual circumstances for me. In the morning the wifey took us out to breakfast and showed us around outer-Philly.

Very scenic route, and it was great seeing all the quaint towns. Check my spelling on quaint. Canada and I decided to stop through Princeton on our way to my sisters. (That and she wasn't yet awake to give us directions.) Wow... makes me want to go back in time and work harder. And also to work harder tomorrow. Which I have been doing, I think. Like I said, this trip had an effect on me... or is it affect. Mrs Rust, you have failed me for the last time. *Force Choke*

*Pause: Google Affect/Effect* I was affected by this trip in a positive way. Its effects on me are hopefully everlasting. I just learned something, did you?

We get to New Jersey, meet with sis, and get ride to train station. We miss train by 3 seconds. Actually, we caught the train, but we were on the wrong side, and couldn't figure out how to get to the right side. We both looked at the tracks and wanted to say fuck it but sober minds prevailed (and the sign in front of us that said "Don't think about it. NO. Canada, 68, Do NOT CROSS TRACKS.") so we watched it drive away and had another hour to burn. Because of this, we didn't get into the city until 5.

Side note, Ive just decided to use this retelling to figure out how much Canada and I pumped into the economy on this spur of the moment trip.

Gas: $30
Princeton Ice Cream (Fucking delicious): $7
Lindts Chocolate which I'm still finding in my car: $7
Train tickets: $23
McDonald's on way up: $10
Becoming a dollarmenuionaire.... priceless... mwuahah. Newz...

We get there, and decide to get at Canada's insistence all day subway passes (propz btw, smartest choice of your day)

Subway Passes: $14

We go to the Magnolia bakery which is inspired by a Lonely Island skit.... delicious by the way.

2 cupcakes: $5
Eating the 2nd smashed to pieces on Monday morning... still tasty.

Then off to a dinner. We randomly chose a spot on 6th avenue simply because we could. We walked in, there was a wait, Canada said fuck this I'm out. I nicely asked the hostess how long a table for two would take, and she said she had an immediate table available. I find Canada on the streets, and bring her back in. Turns out we just chose one of NYC's nicest (and priciest) vegetarian restaurants. Food was amazing, service was impeccable, and Canada did not get carded. Here we will also begin to tally alcohol intake. You will see why later.

Me: 1 12 oz Sam Smith's Taddy Porter ($7 btw, jeez)
Canada: 1 glass pinot grigio
Dinner w/ tip: $52?

SO that was by far the best meal I had had in some time and there wasn't a piece of meat on it... I am very impressed and bravo to Gobo of NYC.

Next we move onward to a Belgium beer bar I had spied walking to the subway. There we had a couple of beers and I introduced Canada into the world of Belgium Lambics. We had a nice conversation with the bartender (o yea... now that i recall, actually conversation is normal between two people. Note to self, stop dating stupid girl) and someone was like HEY, Did You Card Them? I played it off like I was somewhat offended since we already had drinks in hand and once again, Canada is not my roommate. More on that later. I started rambling on about the beers we were drinking, and realized that I was probably sounding like a tool trying to impress a date, and so stopped.

Me: Leffe Blonde, Maredsous 8
Canada: Lindeman's Framboise, Hoegarrden

We realized the time and and headed out to our burlesque show that was waiting for us.

Cost of the Maredsous and Lind. $20
Leffe and Hoegarrden: $15

Somewhere in there we stopped at both White Castle and McDonald's.... looking back I don't see how this is possible that I ate so much.

White Castle: $3
McDonald's: $3

We head to the lower East side for the show... ohh wait also we went to the Brooklyn bridge took pictures of Canada haha... and like one of me. Funny how you forget the actual important things. So yea, I went to Brooklyn, all over Manhattan, and pretty much painted the town. And then it got interesting.

We get to the Burlesque show, and once again, no ID required. I start a tab at the bar and we struggle to see anything. I'd like to note that rail drinks are $7 in NYC. WTF, mate? The current act ends and I grab a seat up front, and attach it to these two guys table, and somewhat rudely join them and beckon Canada to follow. We now have front row seats to the action. I bought dudeman a beer, and he seemed instantly OK with our new relationship. We keep crushing drinks and enjoying the show and having a good ole time. One of the acts was very artsy and I ended up covered in blood and flowers by the end. The comic had a good time with us as well, which has always been a fantasy of Canada's. He said she looked uncomfortably innocent to be in a burlesque bar. Hahahaha if he only knew of the proceeding events. Maybe I'll upload some pictures. It would really bring the story full circle. In fact, I shall. So I show Canada how to order drinks on my tab, and everything is merry. Then I realize she hasn't been back for a while. I am kind of flirting with some of the girls from the bachelorette party behind me, so I assume shes a big girl and is fine and continue enjoying myself. After about another 15 minutes and seeing that the show is wrapping up the current act, I start getting nervous. I frantically search the entire bar, and the restroom, and she is nowhere to be found. My only thought was that I had just lost Canada in NYC and now she was going to be savagely mauled and I would be responsible for her death, and then her father would savagely maul me. Much worse than anyone in NYC could savagely maul her. I promise. After paying out the tab, I continue to nervously look around and I see her walk in the door. I had looked outside already so I know she wasn't just outside hanging out. I assumed she had met some boy, but for crying out loud, stay in the bar and flirt with him. Anyways after denying she had been anywhere I decided it was time to leave this place because I had no idea who thought they were taking her home at this point. We go to the next bar and Canada is fighting/escaping the entire time. "The BOYS!!!!!!!!!!" NOO..... the boys! Yes... I brought a 19-year-old to the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and yes I am probably going to hell in a hand basket. Still wouldn't change a minute of it. Once at the next bar (O she finally got carded now that she cant remember her own name, let alone someone Else's)
Wait....
Burlesque bar: $90

Me: 4 drinks
Canada: 7? drinks

So... she walks off and tells a group of people how annoying I am. And they are like O really... why... and I was like OK Canada.... go find some new friends before i get a rape charge. So i explain to them that I made the mistake of taking a 19 yr old girl to a seedy bar. They laughed understandably and Canada made some new friends down at the other side of the bar. I made sure I could always see her blond locks though lol. They are hard to miss. She comes back all of a sudden and tells me its time to go, now. And that we need to call my sister. I'm somewhat perplexed, as our plan was to drink until the next train leaves for Jersey at 6 AM. Once we find the next subway station, and after rapping with some kid on the street about the trains to board "F to AC YO. Red F to the Green AC. That's where you'll B!" Or something like that.... I was pretty tickled. Canada is at this point useless and I am dragging her along as she mumbles the rap we just learned. O.... shes also started this whining voice of "Nooo.... nooo...... I hate you!" "I frickin' hate you!" Did I mention shes like a daughter? Cuz I sure felt like a parent. I started getting upset... but then she fell down the steps and I barely caught her, and she's still like, "I Haaatee youu...." and I suddenly knew how my parents must have felt. And at that point it all became comical in my eyes. Which is good... cuz I've seen people leave girls to die that were in better condition than Canada at the moment. That is in Richmond of course, not a NYC subway, but i digress.

Canada has started vomiting all over everything at this point, and various characters inhabiting the underground subway begin to help us out on our journey. After refusing to get up and causing us to miss our switchover, we end up not at Penn Station, but at 60th st. A kind worker allowed us access to the bathroom so Canada could piss and vomit in private for a minute... god was that awkward. "Canada.... hurry up, this guy is waiting for us..." "...." "Canadaaaaaaa, please please don't die in there! Your father WILL kill me!" All the while dude is looking at me confused as to whether I'm her nice older brother or her boyfriend who's afraid of her father. She survives and we continue on. At this point she is no longer walking. She decides to say fuck this journey of ours and lies down (and nearly cracks her skull open) on the subway, kicking her shoes off in the process. I carry her up a flight of stairs like this hoping to catch the next train back to Penn station and whaddayaknow? There are two NYPD Blue standing around with nothing to do. After eyeing us pretty hard, I make Canada put (think mother putting shoes on a 2 month old child) her shoes back on and tell the officers that she is fine, shes just had a little too much boozing and I just need to get her home. I think we looked like NYU students at this point... She slumps over as soon as they leave out of sight, and I try to hit on the girl beside her. Unfortunately... a dead girl is not exactly like having a cute puppy apparently. Soo.... at this point I am having to throw her onto the next train because otherwise the doors shut before i can get her on. This one particular train, I threw her a little too late... and the doors shut anyways. She continues on like the Juggernaut with momentum headfirst into the subway door. Someone opens it out of pity and we get on.... I guess I owe you one for that. Upon finally arriving to Penn Station, we call my sister for her to tell us that... sry, I'm drunk, good luck lol. I mean it was 3:30 and we said we would call her a long time ago if we needed a ride. I ended up finding a hotel down the road for.... $230 dear god kill me now. At this point, my credit card is almost maxed out so i had to put it on the company card... don't tell anyone I'll pay it back I promise.

Cabride there, I made Canada vomit in her purse because Cabbie said it was $35 to throw up in the car. Once at the hotel, Hodji thought I was about to rape this drunk girl I was checking in, I'm sure of it. We pass out (Canada still covered in her vomit, I tried to change that I promise).
The next day.... she lay dead in my sisters bed and we went to watch the Jets game at a bar. I was cut off for the first time in my life, and still didn't blackout... that's what 9 hours of Jagerbombs (OMG Jersey really is like YouTube portrays it to be) and $1.50 miller drafts will do to a young boy. I also hit on my older brothers ex girlfriend from when I was a senior in high school that I recognized from across the bar from that time that he had brought her home for Christmas. Shes still cute... and like 27. He didn't take too kindly to that. By that time Canada had joined us and kept fucking with my drunk ass and getting me to repeat stories... I also climbed to a second story balcony trying to get into a locked condo... and almost broke my neck. Think Cliffhanger; barefoot, and drunk.

The weekend was so exhausting (I've left soo much out because my hands are tired of typing) and we both had tests that week, and we felt completely satiated with life, so we decided to forgo Colbert and head home.

This is long I know, but its more so I dint forget than for you to read.....

I also realized on this trip that the world is so much bigger than I know, and that I need to spend my time trying to see it rather than being content with the bubble we create for ourselves. I disabled my Facebook the next morning, and I don't regret it at all, which surprises me. I actually feel like I have a new outlook on life. Now I need to block collegehumor, theOnion, and American Media, and maybe I will actually accomplish something with it. I think I spent roughly 20 hours talking with Canada on the trip, and I am lucky to know someone like that. It is very hard to find someone with the intelligence and passion that keeps me guessing as to someones next thought. At the same time, I am very confused. I assumed that on a weekend trip with a girl, that there would be some sexual tension at the least, possibly some drunken sexual activity. While I find Canada extremely attractive and my sister thinks I should marry her, I was in no way at any point in the weekend thinking to myself, "Make a move... do it." Which sounds pigish, but come on, everyone has hormones. I have never actually had a platonic friend before. I have plenty of friends who are platonic, but there is always some sexual tension on one or both sides. So this is a new feeling for me, and I am still struggling with it. I didn't sense at all that she was interested in me, and while I think I would probably entertain it if there were I am glad there is not. I was so impressed by her that I don't want to even think about her sexually because we are still so young. Shes the kind of girl I want to marry in 5 or 10 years. Probably closer to 10 for her sake haha. But then I'm an old man. Maybe 7. Anyways... right now, if I were to date someone like that I would know that unless I did something stupid it would probably be the One. And I'm not ready for that, so I would probably just do something stupid on purpose. And that's just foolish. I haven't yet met someone so... compatible with me as this girl. This summer I met someone close... closer than anyone I have ever met for the short time I knew her, but nowhere near as close as Canada. It's really unsettling thinking about some of the conversations we had, and how our minds were like on the same wavelength. I know of two girls I have dated that know me inside and out, and could predict what I was going to say or do pretty consistently, but never have a met someone that actually agreed with that thought or action hahahahah..

It has put a new perspective on how I percieve my relationship with people. There are people that I never want to burn a bridge with, people that I want to bomb the bridge with so it can be rebuilt properly, and people I want to Dam the river for so there is no longer a need for a bridge. Dont get me wrong, right now, I'm not damming anything for anybody, but I can think of two people right now who I would dam the Nile for. And many more who I would bomb. Or send over some engineers for damage control.

Comitz, you bastard, you are one of them. We will survive this life. And we will find love.

True Love. *Mawrrrriage* .... lolz Princess Bride

Mmk enough pouring my heart on pixels. Chemistry. Photoshop. Etc.

Fuck it. I'm writing another post after this... this is really good therapy. And it allows me to snag snippets from the pool of souls from Hercules that is my mind (you know that scene) and make concrete thoughts. And then I can look back and remember what I decided hahah.