Sorry: Take Two Steps Back

So... It's the end of weekend in which I accomplished very little and feel somewhat meh. I had a lot to do this weekend, from balancing the books, to putting two invoices totaling about 3,000 together that are a month old, to overhauling a website. I got none of the above mentioned, and I still haven't submitted my schedule nor have I got my class schedule done. Every class I want to take has some prereq that I have not taken because I am a failzor and dropped American Lit I again this semester. It is preventing me from finishing my A.S., which would erase all of my prereqs for 300-level courses. So... I can't take GUI Programming in C++, Introduction to Information Systems, Data Base Concepts, Business Policy and Strategy... none of it until I get all of this shit straightened out. And it's all my fault. And I have no other courses left to take, because completing English will give me credit for all of them. What I am left with is... Finance and accounting courses that I AM eligible for at the 300 level. Does anyone smell a minor? or 2? Oy vey. I feel like every time I catch a break, I shoot myself in the foot again. I am usually not this pathetic, but hey, give me my once a semester fuck me post, eh? There are outs though, but they involve American Literature. Go figure. I could arrange to take the CLEP test next week, somehow miraculously pass it, and then somehow miracu - nope actually that wouldn't help at all. Nope, I've got no outs. I would just like to point out that an English course is preventing me from enrolling in C++. WTF? O and for all you who are thinking "he must be retarded" I am great at English, I had an A in it up til I stopped going. This is the third time I have withdrawn from the course consecutively. For some reason which I cannot fathom, this is the one course I cannot pass. I took AP 11 and AP 12 with no problems... senior year, I fell asleep during the Mid-Term and Jesus woke me up (you'll meet him soon enough) with 15 minutes left, and I crushed it. English is something I've always excelled at... it's just a mental block or something. I can't figure it out.

Well Fuck it. I'll figure it out. I always do. But I can't help but think that I am going to spend 6 years as an undergraduate student. And that is sad. Moving on....

Its 1:35 AM, and I am in Va Bch, and I have to be in Richmond at 9 am for work. And I am blogging. O well... I did accomplish something though, and thats get my number on my iPhone ported over from Verizon so now my old number in back and I can give out business cards without writing on them... which is embarassing to say the least. Allright, enough of a sob story. I'm driving home and going to work.

Things to do tomorrow:

Call ODU.
Email every professor in the IT Department asking for overrides.
Prey.
If above task is successful, call Merry.
If not, continue on list.
Work.
Sleep.
Aye.

And Heffer, it's all starting to make sense to me. That hollow loneliness, the feeling it can't last forever. It's not long before I follow you, Brother. But I am torn between two lives. I see how both play out, and I like your way better. ... I had a complex thought but then my iTunes starting playing Gospel from Lord knows where (you see what I did there) and my focus is gone... where did this come from? ... as I went down to the river to pray, studying about that good ole way... who is Alison Krauss? Anyways...

Open the gates and seize the day. Don't be afraid and don't delay.


And because I like links: Sleeping with Big Tobacco

Stress

So I have to submit my preferred schedule for the next n months of my life with the new job. I'm trying to schedule all of my classes on Tuesday and Thursday... we'll see how well it works out. 40 Hours a week at work.... 15 credit hours... plus my own business... == Not much time for fun. Meh. And I'm moving into the Chapter house at ODU... which means I can hear all the fun, but can't participate. Doubley meh. Oh well... with all that work, I can start amassing my fortune. I'll just Old School it when I'm rich. Make up for lost opportunities and all that.

Oh, and if you think these girls will grow out of it, go to a campus on Sorority Bid Night. :)

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Marry Me says Merry

So... what a day. Well work started at 9 am and im actually taking calls now and I got a PC that like 4 other people had claimed to have incorrectly fixed. I got ahold of it, got permission to work on it, and it ended up taking til 9:45 that night. Don't get me wrong, most of that was waiting on various scans and processes to complete, and I was fixing other problems at the same time. At one point, I had three open tickets lol. Im in training, and thats against the rules even if ur a 'vet.' I need another monitor... so i ordered one today. Yessss I AM that big of a geek. Swordfish anyone? Yahtzee. And this one has HDMI input.... BluRay? I think so. After I finally finshed 4 hours after my scheduled end of shift (I didn't want to be another reject and leave it unfinished, gotta make a good first impression. Well that and I'm a geek and was enjoying fixing what no1 else could fix :) ) I went to the library to listen to the VHS (I know who the hell uses a VCR) of the class I had missed last week. Then I went home and was about to start studying when:

Merry calls me. Its her 21st birthday, and she sounds a little tipsy. Merry and I were really good friends until she went on this Reborn Christian craze where everything pleasurable was hedonistic and God became her world. It was pretty ridiculous at first, and given my feelings on organized religion, we had several philosophical discussions in which we had to agree to disagree ( by that I mean she told me that I'm not listening to her and that if I were to just accept Jesus Christ I would understand, and that she didn't want to discuss any further because I had poked a hole in her zealous thoughts ) Now by no means am I the antichrist, I have just had a bad experience with organized religion of the type that she was involved. I am very spiritual, I just simply don't belong to a church. And the things she was saying were WAY out of left field. She eventually saw that she was pushing all of her friends away and judging everyone for not subscribing to her ways, and came a little more to the center. We still didn't hang out alot... but I digress. So Merry shows up at my house, and it got kind of interesting. I'll spare you the details, the gist of it is this:

Merry often thinks of marrying me.

She cries sometimes because she can never marry me because I am not a Christian.

She cannot kiss me (on the lips) because I do not believe in her God.

Merry is in love with me (although with the Marry thing you can assume that I guess)

Merry can't stress enough just how much she loves me.

Apparently the temptation to do the above was too great for her and so she left... to another guy's house. At 3 am.

Is your head spinning as much as mine is right now? I guess he believed in her God?

Anyways... it's now 4am, I have a test at 10 am for Marketing 311, and I have a conference call at 9 am. And I have 5 chapters to read from my textbook for MRKT 311. Yet, I still can't stop trying to digest just exactly what I experienced there.

Never a dull moment in my life. O and if you want to hear how gay the music is I listen too, just open this in IE, I change it fairly regularly. Enjoy.

I think I'm going to start logging how many hours I sleep a night here.... just to have a record for when I go insane, you know, for the judge and all. "Your honor, look, it's right here on my blog. I hadn't slept for 3 days straight when I put my little brother (19, not so little) on my roof and drove down the interstate to show him what it feels like to be 'driven crazy' by your brother."

Hmm... I can imagine thats an accurate depiction of it actually.

Study....

Merry:

Merry and Me way back.

Sick Individual

I know your name, but I'm all about format :)

I seam to have struck a nerve. Yes I agree her poems are all sad... very very sad. I didn't say I dislike Whitman, but reading Emily's poems... that emotion of sadness is so strong. Its seeps through the white space on the page. And I think thats what poetry is about, conveying emotion through ink on paper.
Then again, judging poetry is by no means objective. Dead Poets Society comes to mind...
O Captain My Captain!

That said, they are both great poets. I did not mean to offend. Although I am flattered to have a post in my honor hehe.

Oh and my name, is Robert. OT KG refers to a group of people, 68 refers to me among them. So "68" would identify me, but OT KG could be 100 people. FYI. And I agree, pizazz was indeed the wrong word for her, and very correct for Whitman. It was early... I'm not very smart... what can I do?

More importantly, Dr. Seuss is a genius. Or an Acid-Fiend. Or Both.

Oh and 10 points if you can tell me what this song is from. 15 if you can name another song from the same album.

O Wait Come Back!

So I realized I haven't updated. You kids (or kid, with my current readership status) don't know what happened this weekend! Well, I'm gonna tell you in a second, sit down. .... Ritalin, get some.

So.... my friend Chubby Cheeks, or CC for short, who was also mentioned in my first post, told me when I was up at tech that she loves getting all dressed up and would be my date to my fraternity's formal. Well CC came through and looked gorgeous too. I think I pissed off my ex! I told her I was bringing a date, and that she had a boyfriend, but I don't think she was ready for CC lol. O well... what can you do? Needless to say I'm pretty sure we were the hottest couple in the room. And we had a great time too! We got a pizza, and we stayed up listening to music til like 2 AM! Which isn't late unless you are an old man like me... :( O and I like Owl City, deal with it.

O and me and Canada went to Hooters on Sunday night and grabbed some wings. Wow... I didn't realize how close we were to collapsing as a society... History repeats itself, and I'm thinking Rome's coliseum is our NFL stadium. Haha speaking of I think I'm going to a gladiator match to see the Jetties last home game of the season.

O dear

So.... I'm now in transition training for work. Its 9 - 5 for the next two weeks. More importantly, its 6:53 AM and i think im still drunk. I am a new fan of happy hour. 2 dollars.... this is amazing! So yea obviously last night got out of hand because I woke up on the couch, my little brother is sleeping in my bed (im bout to give him a BIG HUG!) and his friend is sleeping on my floor. Just cuz i got drunk and crashed on the couch does NOT mean u can sleep ur dirty hippy ass in my bed. And I smell smoke in my room. Im gonna give him such a big bear hug and maybe pee on him when I s- no i wont pee on him, hes still in MY bed silly - submit this entry. But seriously, who does that? He has a bed, for crying out loud. Why my bed? O, and powerade leaves a thick film in your mouth... which im willing to accept in return for its faerie-like healing powers. "Let me soothe your wounds..." Haha LoZ aL2tP? Haha im gonna start carrying around jars to stick girls in. I like your style Link.


Ok.... but seriously tell him to get out of my bed. I wanna go back to sleep until I'm sober!

Kisses,


68

Edit: So my roommate just filled me in and i embarrassed myself at the pizza parlor next door apparently... but he did commandeer my phone and left us with a timelapsedish view of my demise.










So... at said parlor, the owner got conned into buying like 10 cases of this beer call Spreckers. or something like that. Anyways, only I know about it, its not very good, but its only 1.50 a bottle for me. Whenever I am already drunk, all of a sudden drinking a horrible "Amber Ale" from a brewery famous for its cream soda for $1.50 seams like a good idea. I guess this makes up for the bottle of Weyerbacher's Riserva I cracked open last week. If you haven't heard of it, find a really good friend that has some because I'm pretty sure distribution was limited to 1200 bottles (I have 8 left, so maybe I could be that friend)

The Stock Market

So if you read a newspaper, or have stumbled across cnn.com accidentally in the last six months, you know our economy is going to shit. Fear not though, the rich will get richer. WE CAN NOT HAVE multimillionaires living NORMAL lives... so we bail them out. 5 trillion dollars could overhaul the entire US national infrastructure. 5 trillion dollars could give everyone willing to put forth the effort a Harvard education. 5 trillion dollars could buy an entire middle east country, solving our oil problems (only half-joking). 5 trillion dollars spent correctly is enough to drag ANY economy out of a rut. 5 trillion dollars left to the flawed theories of trickle down economics, well that's just business as usual. I am so disgusted with the corruption that plagues our Treasury/Federal Reserve/Financial Sector right now. Everyone is trying to salvage their fuckups. What is the point of a free market if you don't let it fall? It HAS to fall. It is inevitable. When companies fail, they dont just disappear overnight. They are held accountable for their poor decisions. What the US has done has allowed banks to go all-in on a low pocket pair, and then given them more money so they can win back their losses. It might work once in a while on TV, but in reality, your best bet is to leave the table and go back to real work.

Working From Home

So the new job I have started is as a remote support technician. I work from home. I am still in training, for 9 hours a day. I have never in my life sat still for this long, ever. I have always played a sport, or waited tables, or something, anything that would allow me to get up and move around. I wish I had a wireless headset so I could go jogging during these damn conference calls haha. On another note, I can have a beer which is one way to distract myself. I have been working through the stock of stouts that I have been saving all summer, and I just mistakenly opened up a World Wide Stout that hasn't had time to age yet. Waste of $10... and its 18% so i cant chug it because well... I'm still at work haha. That would be bad news bears. I thought it was a raison d'etre... I know I know green cap, brown cap... I'm retarded. But the experience has renewed my resolve to find a 4-pack of the Palo Santo Marron for a reasonable price. Well that and the cool video I watched about how they get the wood for the giant barrels they brew it in. Ho humm..... well tomorrow is the last day of training and I don't necessarily feel ready to start this job yet. But I'm sure they won't just drop us into a den of lions.

The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful. I wish we had a working fireplace. My house was built in 1916 so all the fireplaces are walled off because they don't meet code (alot of Richmond burned during this crazy made up thing called a civil war, so fire codes here are pretty strict). I need to find a girl with a fireplace, and seduce her into letting me sit in front of it with a good book. She can do whatever she wants, I just want to sit in front of her fireplace.

Well... back to training. I've got to fix some simulatedly broke computers. Always fun! O and I got this text from one of my own clients today:

"I am sick of the re-occuring error green and red lines on emails and docs please don't forget about this..."

I think hes talking about the auto spell check and grammar check. I hope not...
Well... I guess that's why I make the big bucks... :)

More NYC Pictures

These are from the Jets game which I largely left undescribed in my earlier entry. Needless to say, we all had a blast. The older two are my step brother and sister, they are pretty sweet. You might recognize Canada from the NYC Skyline pic.

Work

So I started a new job this past week, and I am really excited. For starters, the only reason that I have this job is that I drink too much haha. For the last year and half or so, I have been working at a really nice beer bar (it's actually ranked in the top 10 of America) called the Capital Ale House. Many of the beer drinkers out there will recognize the name. So working there, I have been spoiled because my taste for good beer is far above and beyond what anyone would call normal. Thats also why when I saw the sign for a Belgium beer bar in NYC, I had to bring Canada to it. Everyone should experience what a beer can and should taste like. Delicious. So... anyone who has worked in the service industry knows that there are good nights and bad nights.

I had just had a particularly bad night, and I had several BBC Jefferson Reserve's before I left work that night, and when I got home I started looking for a new job. I passed out, and forgot all about it. Apparently, the universe had its eye on me that night, because the next week I got a call from a really reputable company about a remote support position. Needless to say, I quit Cap Ale the day after they offered me a job, and have been in training since last Friday. I am super excited. I finally have a job related to my desired career and major (IT), and it is a real job, with a real income, and really great benefits. Not bad for 21. Its very strange, the concept of not working until I get cut, or getting paid holidays, etc. It will take some getting used to being treated like a human being, not another body who happens to take better care of customers than the rest.

Allright... so that's not entirely true. As I mentioned in the NYC post, until last Friday I have been not working since... about a month now. I had requested the weekend before Halloween off because of fraternity regional meeting held at Tech. I am somewhat of a legend to the colony down there (good luck guys) from a previous trip, and make a point to support them when I can. Anyways, so I put in my two weeks on a Thursday, and since I only work weekends I had the next two days to work and then the Tech trip, so thats the end of Cap Ale for me. I figured I would take Halloween off as an extended vacation to myself, so I told the new job that I would like to start Nov. 7. Well, needless to say I missed my last two shifts because I fell asleep driving back from VB the morning of and nearly wrecked. In typical me fashion, I said screw you guys, I'm going home! Thus began my extremely extended vacation. Which was awesome (Tech was pretty epic itself, and I scored a date to the formal) in and of itself, because I hadn't had a weekend off in many many many moons.

That said, I will miss several things about the old restaurant. The first is the discount on all the great beer. At the store I left, there were 80 taps of the best imported and American craft beers. Where else do you get such rarities as Lindemans Framboise, DFH 120, BFM, Harvieston Old Dubh 30 year Firkins.... O the fine things. And beer geek week.... o the memories. I learned so much there, but I really think working in a beer bar you have two options, alcoholism, or suppressed alcoholism. That and the host staff was always really cute. Haha... yea I said that. Hopefully, I will survive training and become a certified Solutions Engineer by next week!

Im growing up waay too fast. Someone pinch me. My mother told me she was proud of me today... This is the same woman who I showed how I had created a bar in my basement at 18.

NYC... the Big Apple

Well this tale of epicness was supposed to go untold in print, because of several reasons. But I had a life-changing weekend and I think I need to at least make record of it for myself.

Halloween is not generally an exciting time for me. I like to see sluts walk around just as much as the next guy, but this year it was gonna be great. I wasn't working *what?* and I had a ton of plans. JMU was first on my list. A good friend had invited me to her party and seeing her costume pictures the next day.... aye.... I definitely missed out. What a gorgeous creature she is... haha pinup indeed. But alas, the less i pursue Pinup the better I fear. It's funny the sacrifices we make to maintain relationships. I've always disagreed with sacrificing one to strengthen another, but I find myself doing it more and more lately. Alas, I digress!

So I also had plans to celebrate another good friends birthday in Va Bch Saturday, and a ton of work to catch up on, and two tests on Tuesday, and a test on Monday. Aye, it was summing up to be a busy busy weekend. Then my phone rings. We'll call her Blondie. Blondie is an old friend from high school that i jokingly call my daughter. Actually she was referenced in my first post, ironically enough. She would be girl numero uno, the highest scoring of the trio, but also the least probable. That hasn't changed at all in light of recent events, which is again strange.

No Blondie is no good... its like insulting her. ahhhhhhh.. Canada. Perfect.

So Canada calls me on Wednesday telling me that there is a long story and she doesn't want to tell it but that I MUST cancel all my plans this weekend and escort her to NYC. What on earth could she possibly dangle in front of my face to make me even consider that kind of irrational thinking, not to mention I've been out of work for 3 weeks and am almost bankrupt?

The Colbert Report tickets.

Yep... that's all I needed. I was in as much disbelief when I said yes as she was. The story as too why I am joining her instead of her originally planned partner in crime is hers to tell, but what happened next is ours.

So away I go, calling people to cancel. I had friends from Richmond staying with friends from JMU, and they had never met, and I had to cancel on all of them. And I still haven't officially canceled on VB friend, and I'm not sure if she will ever forget me. I think I'm sending her flowers next week when I get paid, I do truly feel pretty horrible about that. But everything was canceled, I packed enough clean underwear for 4 nights, and threw all my schoolstuff in the car (so i could, you know, study...) and headed to the beach. I pulled an all nighter (Thursday btw) updating a website I had drastically neglected for previously mentioned client (btw, I am once again in said office at this point) and in the morning, fixed something which I had not broken and then I went to pick up Canada who told me she is waiting at said office.

I am under the impression she has been dropped off (her Yaris is in the shop) and so am in somewhat of a hurry to pick her up as leaving a beautiful blond in an industrial park is asking for trouble. I fly around the corner where she is parked waiting with father (whom I respect to the utmost and would like nothing else than to have trust me) with radio blaring enough to make the seamstress next door complain and everyone take notice. I park.... I am confused. I call... she answers.

"Where are you....?" "You just passed us."
Uss? Dammitttttt.

I hadn't seen her father since my senior year of high school, so that was nice except for the complete embarrassment part... which I might get over before I die.

She throws her monster of a suitcase (though less than I was expecting, point Canada) in the trunk, and tries to hide the handles of alcohol I had thrown in the trunk in the event we are unable to secure Canada an ID in NYC.

I considered hiring a babysitter in such an event, but discounted the idea just as quickly.... it would be in bad taste i decided. So I grabbed a coupla bottles from the bar... you never know when or where a party will evolve. I like to be prepared.... I don't have to explain myself to a blog, dammit!

We vamos... off to Philadelphia to meet up with a coupla she used to nanny for. I have been dating a girl off and on for several months and it was just this past Monday we had our first kiss. It was the first time I felt she was worthy of me kissing her... which is sad. It hasn't happened since. I don't think it will happen again, either. The reason I mention this is that on a 7 hour car ride, we talked non-stop, and I don't recall a single awkward moment or lull in conversation. Perhaps I was just talking her ear off, and she's just a good listener. But I'm going to pretend that's not the case. But.... the reason I kissed that girl that night is because we actually had a conversation, which I have discovered is not as easy as I thought with females today. Such conversation has yet to be replicated, nor has the desire to kiss her occurred again. So when we arrived and I hadn't once thought to myself, "When can I get out of this car and drop this girl off?" I was surprised a little bit. It turns out Canada and I have become very similar since high school in many ways. She has become quite the respectable girl, and I think its safe to say that I am very proud to say I know her. The family was very cute, and their little girl was fricking adorable. She gobbled up two slices of pizza from Canada's plate, like a small sea monster. It was really awkward though because I think they might have thought that we dated. That and I am sleeping in someones house who I don't know, and I'm not drunk... unusual circumstances for me. In the morning the wifey took us out to breakfast and showed us around outer-Philly.

Very scenic route, and it was great seeing all the quaint towns. Check my spelling on quaint. Canada and I decided to stop through Princeton on our way to my sisters. (That and she wasn't yet awake to give us directions.) Wow... makes me want to go back in time and work harder. And also to work harder tomorrow. Which I have been doing, I think. Like I said, this trip had an effect on me... or is it affect. Mrs Rust, you have failed me for the last time. *Force Choke*

*Pause: Google Affect/Effect* I was affected by this trip in a positive way. Its effects on me are hopefully everlasting. I just learned something, did you?

We get to New Jersey, meet with sis, and get ride to train station. We miss train by 3 seconds. Actually, we caught the train, but we were on the wrong side, and couldn't figure out how to get to the right side. We both looked at the tracks and wanted to say fuck it but sober minds prevailed (and the sign in front of us that said "Don't think about it. NO. Canada, 68, Do NOT CROSS TRACKS.") so we watched it drive away and had another hour to burn. Because of this, we didn't get into the city until 5.

Side note, Ive just decided to use this retelling to figure out how much Canada and I pumped into the economy on this spur of the moment trip.

Gas: $30
Princeton Ice Cream (Fucking delicious): $7
Lindts Chocolate which I'm still finding in my car: $7
Train tickets: $23
McDonald's on way up: $10
Becoming a dollarmenuionaire.... priceless... mwuahah. Newz...

We get there, and decide to get at Canada's insistence all day subway passes (propz btw, smartest choice of your day)

Subway Passes: $14

We go to the Magnolia bakery which is inspired by a Lonely Island skit.... delicious by the way.

2 cupcakes: $5
Eating the 2nd smashed to pieces on Monday morning... still tasty.

Then off to a dinner. We randomly chose a spot on 6th avenue simply because we could. We walked in, there was a wait, Canada said fuck this I'm out. I nicely asked the hostess how long a table for two would take, and she said she had an immediate table available. I find Canada on the streets, and bring her back in. Turns out we just chose one of NYC's nicest (and priciest) vegetarian restaurants. Food was amazing, service was impeccable, and Canada did not get carded. Here we will also begin to tally alcohol intake. You will see why later.

Me: 1 12 oz Sam Smith's Taddy Porter ($7 btw, jeez)
Canada: 1 glass pinot grigio
Dinner w/ tip: $52?

SO that was by far the best meal I had had in some time and there wasn't a piece of meat on it... I am very impressed and bravo to Gobo of NYC.

Next we move onward to a Belgium beer bar I had spied walking to the subway. There we had a couple of beers and I introduced Canada into the world of Belgium Lambics. We had a nice conversation with the bartender (o yea... now that i recall, actually conversation is normal between two people. Note to self, stop dating stupid girl) and someone was like HEY, Did You Card Them? I played it off like I was somewhat offended since we already had drinks in hand and once again, Canada is not my roommate. More on that later. I started rambling on about the beers we were drinking, and realized that I was probably sounding like a tool trying to impress a date, and so stopped.

Me: Leffe Blonde, Maredsous 8
Canada: Lindeman's Framboise, Hoegarrden

We realized the time and and headed out to our burlesque show that was waiting for us.

Cost of the Maredsous and Lind. $20
Leffe and Hoegarrden: $15

Somewhere in there we stopped at both White Castle and McDonald's.... looking back I don't see how this is possible that I ate so much.

White Castle: $3
McDonald's: $3

We head to the lower East side for the show... ohh wait also we went to the Brooklyn bridge took pictures of Canada haha... and like one of me. Funny how you forget the actual important things. So yea, I went to Brooklyn, all over Manhattan, and pretty much painted the town. And then it got interesting.

We get to the Burlesque show, and once again, no ID required. I start a tab at the bar and we struggle to see anything. I'd like to note that rail drinks are $7 in NYC. WTF, mate? The current act ends and I grab a seat up front, and attach it to these two guys table, and somewhat rudely join them and beckon Canada to follow. We now have front row seats to the action. I bought dudeman a beer, and he seemed instantly OK with our new relationship. We keep crushing drinks and enjoying the show and having a good ole time. One of the acts was very artsy and I ended up covered in blood and flowers by the end. The comic had a good time with us as well, which has always been a fantasy of Canada's. He said she looked uncomfortably innocent to be in a burlesque bar. Hahahaha if he only knew of the proceeding events. Maybe I'll upload some pictures. It would really bring the story full circle. In fact, I shall. So I show Canada how to order drinks on my tab, and everything is merry. Then I realize she hasn't been back for a while. I am kind of flirting with some of the girls from the bachelorette party behind me, so I assume shes a big girl and is fine and continue enjoying myself. After about another 15 minutes and seeing that the show is wrapping up the current act, I start getting nervous. I frantically search the entire bar, and the restroom, and she is nowhere to be found. My only thought was that I had just lost Canada in NYC and now she was going to be savagely mauled and I would be responsible for her death, and then her father would savagely maul me. Much worse than anyone in NYC could savagely maul her. I promise. After paying out the tab, I continue to nervously look around and I see her walk in the door. I had looked outside already so I know she wasn't just outside hanging out. I assumed she had met some boy, but for crying out loud, stay in the bar and flirt with him. Anyways after denying she had been anywhere I decided it was time to leave this place because I had no idea who thought they were taking her home at this point. We go to the next bar and Canada is fighting/escaping the entire time. "The BOYS!!!!!!!!!!" NOO..... the boys! Yes... I brought a 19-year-old to the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and yes I am probably going to hell in a hand basket. Still wouldn't change a minute of it. Once at the next bar (O she finally got carded now that she cant remember her own name, let alone someone Else's)
Wait....
Burlesque bar: $90

Me: 4 drinks
Canada: 7? drinks

So... she walks off and tells a group of people how annoying I am. And they are like O really... why... and I was like OK Canada.... go find some new friends before i get a rape charge. So i explain to them that I made the mistake of taking a 19 yr old girl to a seedy bar. They laughed understandably and Canada made some new friends down at the other side of the bar. I made sure I could always see her blond locks though lol. They are hard to miss. She comes back all of a sudden and tells me its time to go, now. And that we need to call my sister. I'm somewhat perplexed, as our plan was to drink until the next train leaves for Jersey at 6 AM. Once we find the next subway station, and after rapping with some kid on the street about the trains to board "F to AC YO. Red F to the Green AC. That's where you'll B!" Or something like that.... I was pretty tickled. Canada is at this point useless and I am dragging her along as she mumbles the rap we just learned. O.... shes also started this whining voice of "Nooo.... nooo...... I hate you!" "I frickin' hate you!" Did I mention shes like a daughter? Cuz I sure felt like a parent. I started getting upset... but then she fell down the steps and I barely caught her, and she's still like, "I Haaatee youu...." and I suddenly knew how my parents must have felt. And at that point it all became comical in my eyes. Which is good... cuz I've seen people leave girls to die that were in better condition than Canada at the moment. That is in Richmond of course, not a NYC subway, but i digress.

Canada has started vomiting all over everything at this point, and various characters inhabiting the underground subway begin to help us out on our journey. After refusing to get up and causing us to miss our switchover, we end up not at Penn Station, but at 60th st. A kind worker allowed us access to the bathroom so Canada could piss and vomit in private for a minute... god was that awkward. "Canada.... hurry up, this guy is waiting for us..." "...." "Canadaaaaaaa, please please don't die in there! Your father WILL kill me!" All the while dude is looking at me confused as to whether I'm her nice older brother or her boyfriend who's afraid of her father. She survives and we continue on. At this point she is no longer walking. She decides to say fuck this journey of ours and lies down (and nearly cracks her skull open) on the subway, kicking her shoes off in the process. I carry her up a flight of stairs like this hoping to catch the next train back to Penn station and whaddayaknow? There are two NYPD Blue standing around with nothing to do. After eyeing us pretty hard, I make Canada put (think mother putting shoes on a 2 month old child) her shoes back on and tell the officers that she is fine, shes just had a little too much boozing and I just need to get her home. I think we looked like NYU students at this point... She slumps over as soon as they leave out of sight, and I try to hit on the girl beside her. Unfortunately... a dead girl is not exactly like having a cute puppy apparently. Soo.... at this point I am having to throw her onto the next train because otherwise the doors shut before i can get her on. This one particular train, I threw her a little too late... and the doors shut anyways. She continues on like the Juggernaut with momentum headfirst into the subway door. Someone opens it out of pity and we get on.... I guess I owe you one for that. Upon finally arriving to Penn Station, we call my sister for her to tell us that... sry, I'm drunk, good luck lol. I mean it was 3:30 and we said we would call her a long time ago if we needed a ride. I ended up finding a hotel down the road for.... $230 dear god kill me now. At this point, my credit card is almost maxed out so i had to put it on the company card... don't tell anyone I'll pay it back I promise.

Cabride there, I made Canada vomit in her purse because Cabbie said it was $35 to throw up in the car. Once at the hotel, Hodji thought I was about to rape this drunk girl I was checking in, I'm sure of it. We pass out (Canada still covered in her vomit, I tried to change that I promise).
The next day.... she lay dead in my sisters bed and we went to watch the Jets game at a bar. I was cut off for the first time in my life, and still didn't blackout... that's what 9 hours of Jagerbombs (OMG Jersey really is like YouTube portrays it to be) and $1.50 miller drafts will do to a young boy. I also hit on my older brothers ex girlfriend from when I was a senior in high school that I recognized from across the bar from that time that he had brought her home for Christmas. Shes still cute... and like 27. He didn't take too kindly to that. By that time Canada had joined us and kept fucking with my drunk ass and getting me to repeat stories... I also climbed to a second story balcony trying to get into a locked condo... and almost broke my neck. Think Cliffhanger; barefoot, and drunk.

The weekend was so exhausting (I've left soo much out because my hands are tired of typing) and we both had tests that week, and we felt completely satiated with life, so we decided to forgo Colbert and head home.

This is long I know, but its more so I dint forget than for you to read.....

I also realized on this trip that the world is so much bigger than I know, and that I need to spend my time trying to see it rather than being content with the bubble we create for ourselves. I disabled my Facebook the next morning, and I don't regret it at all, which surprises me. I actually feel like I have a new outlook on life. Now I need to block collegehumor, theOnion, and American Media, and maybe I will actually accomplish something with it. I think I spent roughly 20 hours talking with Canada on the trip, and I am lucky to know someone like that. It is very hard to find someone with the intelligence and passion that keeps me guessing as to someones next thought. At the same time, I am very confused. I assumed that on a weekend trip with a girl, that there would be some sexual tension at the least, possibly some drunken sexual activity. While I find Canada extremely attractive and my sister thinks I should marry her, I was in no way at any point in the weekend thinking to myself, "Make a move... do it." Which sounds pigish, but come on, everyone has hormones. I have never actually had a platonic friend before. I have plenty of friends who are platonic, but there is always some sexual tension on one or both sides. So this is a new feeling for me, and I am still struggling with it. I didn't sense at all that she was interested in me, and while I think I would probably entertain it if there were I am glad there is not. I was so impressed by her that I don't want to even think about her sexually because we are still so young. Shes the kind of girl I want to marry in 5 or 10 years. Probably closer to 10 for her sake haha. But then I'm an old man. Maybe 7. Anyways... right now, if I were to date someone like that I would know that unless I did something stupid it would probably be the One. And I'm not ready for that, so I would probably just do something stupid on purpose. And that's just foolish. I haven't yet met someone so... compatible with me as this girl. This summer I met someone close... closer than anyone I have ever met for the short time I knew her, but nowhere near as close as Canada. It's really unsettling thinking about some of the conversations we had, and how our minds were like on the same wavelength. I know of two girls I have dated that know me inside and out, and could predict what I was going to say or do pretty consistently, but never have a met someone that actually agreed with that thought or action hahahahah..

It has put a new perspective on how I percieve my relationship with people. There are people that I never want to burn a bridge with, people that I want to bomb the bridge with so it can be rebuilt properly, and people I want to Dam the river for so there is no longer a need for a bridge. Dont get me wrong, right now, I'm not damming anything for anybody, but I can think of two people right now who I would dam the Nile for. And many more who I would bomb. Or send over some engineers for damage control.

Comitz, you bastard, you are one of them. We will survive this life. And we will find love.

True Love. *Mawrrrriage* .... lolz Princess Bride

Mmk enough pouring my heart on pixels. Chemistry. Photoshop. Etc.

Fuck it. I'm writing another post after this... this is really good therapy. And it allows me to snag snippets from the pool of souls from Hercules that is my mind (you know that scene) and make concrete thoughts. And then I can look back and remember what I decided hahah.

Community College

So here I sit on a Sunday night in an office of a client I am very close with. It has become my home away from home here in Va Bch when I come down. Its pretty hard to distract myself here, but don't worry I still managed to waste 5 hours today in an office with no TV. The Jets winning by 44 points didn't help at all btw, with my mom texting me every 15 minutes. I haven't posted since I first started this little experiment in self-expression, but I had such a good laugh reminiscing I had to call somebody or write about it. Aren't you lucky?

Community College is a joke. I don't care who you are or what you say, it is a practical fucking joke that anyone with half an excuse for a brain could pass. The memory spawning this rant is the power of a motherfucking powerpoint.

Speech Class: No preparation, 15 minutes til class, 5 slides of me frantically trying to remember Beer 101 from work last week. A
(rinse, repeat)

Psychology Class: "Research Project" which was the climax of the semester's learning, 25 minutes of faking data into an excel sheet, 15 minutes creating a survey to attach the data too, 10 minutes creating charts and putting into a powerpoint. A
*look on classes face when they realize that OoOo Shit this White Boi is Fucking Gonna Make Me Look Bad!, worth the hour i spent
*double take when they realize this is only my 3rd time attending class ( 2 tests before ), priceless

Intro to Business: I didn't make the powerpoint (it was horrible, whoulda thunk) but... the assignment was to dress for success, my OT suit had the teacher using me as an example for people thrice my age on what to wear to an interview... i had to laugh inside. Do you know what that suit has seen? *Looking at you, Comitz, bastard*

All in all, if you know the information, or at least the title of the class, and have working knowledge of Microsoft Office, community college is merely something to take your mind off of collegehumor until your next shift.

End Rant, still laughing inside though.