My Driving Test

Reading about Jaime's test has inspired me lol. Ya'll should enjoy this one.

Now let me set the scene. I was (and still am) one of the cockiest geeks you'll ever meet in highschool. I was captain of the JV Soccer team, and was now on the Varsity squad, and had a cool non-16-year-old job for a computer company as a technician and salesman, and all the cute little girls in the Health Science Academy had a crush on either me or my friend, Johnny-boy. (Yes from thanksgiving) We were both on the soccer team, both in all AP courses and both cocky lil things. O and we had our high school administration wrapped around our fingers. So I guess we had reason to be cocky, but not that cocky. Cocky starts sounding funny after you say it 15 times, fyi.

So... here in VA we have Behind-the-Wheel. Its through the school and during lunch. I was in the car with 2 other girls, Ashlei Wo-Skeet-Skeet and some random ghetto girl. It was Bayside... if you went there, you understand what I'm talking about. Actually WoSkeetSkeet ended up marrying my boss from Sonic and I was to be among the Groomsmen at the wedding. Small world..

So, its not that hard, its just driving, and the instructor is nice enough. Except everything she made the girls do, she found a way to make it harder for me. We would each take turns driving for 15 minutes at a time. She had WoSkeetSkeet drive down into some neighborhood that was had really windy roads on the beach. It was very hilly and had pine trees EVERYWHERE. she instructs her to turn down this onelane road and drives like a 1/4 mile down it. Dead end. I'm thinking, O SHIT! finally a girl has to do somehting hard. Like a 4 point 180. Right? Right?

Not so much. She tells Ashliei to get out, and that I am up. So I am like.... turn around, big deal, i get lost all the time. Nothing new.

"Backup, and don't hit any mailboxes or you fail."

*Mouth is now hanging on floor*

But I did it. And all was well. Except... on the way back.

So she had Ghetto drive down Shore Drive to get us home. Mistake.

Ghetto can't drive. At All. She veeers off the road, onto the rumblestrips going 60 on the most deadly road in Va Beach. The Instructor tries to pull the wheel, but to no avail. We are careening off the road and Ghetto is shrieking and digging her 4" nails into the wheel, and her arms are locked tense. Instructor finally overcomes the power of ignorance and pulls wheel towards road. O M G. I almost became another cross on the side of Shore Dr.

Then the next week I am in the middle of a week with 2 soccer games, I am working the days we dont have games after practice. and to top it all off, its like the end of the 3rd quarter. Oh and I had just started a new allergy medicine, which apparently makes me drowsy.

Needless to say I fell asleep behind the wheel and hit a trashcan lol. Yea... muy mal. It was a plastic trashcan, and I was already stopping because I couldn't keep my eyes open, but yea. She was not happy.

Next week, our driving test.
Summary: WoSkeetSkeet passes with flying colors.
Ghetto passed, but barely and i quote from the instrutor, "You didn't mess up enough to fail, but for your safety and your insurance companies, don't PARK NEAR CARS."

Me... Light at Va Beach Blvd and Witchduck turned yellow on me. I gunned it... i thought I made it... She disagreed. I failed.

Shame. Embarassment.... hiding under the floor tiles.

Next week I did fine but I to this day have a fear of yellow lights. I have stopped in the middle of intersections because the light turned yellow... its like a phobia thing.

And that kids, is my story of Behind the Wheel. According to my mom, who might be a bit racist: Black women are statistically the worst category of drivers by race and sex.

Dunno how true it is.. but omg i can believe it.